Worth The Risk (bucky barnes x reader fanfiction)

Part Six

Three weeks later and still no word from Bucky. At best, he'd offer you a short "Sure" or "okay" when you asked for a favor. Other than that, he refused to hold a conversation with you much less look in your direction. You'd tried inviting him to movie nights, going out to dinner, even going for a run together. But whatever you suggested he ignored or refused, not even bothering to give an explanation.

And it wasn't like he didn't join the others for a run or lunch. He got along fine with everyone else. Steve had tried to reassure you that it wasn't just you Bucky was avoiding but you weren't an idiot. You knew.

You held back a sigh as you watched your friends gear up in the board room. They'd all changed in to their tactical gear just a few minutes before, now running over the plan one final time with both you and Pam.

With the wave of the hand, they were gone.

Something had gone wrong. You didn't know what exactly, but something had. You and Pam had been watching the rest of the Avengers take down the small HYDRA base from the tower when Steve called you frantically. You learned fairly quickly that there had been a miscalculation; it wasn't four HYDRA agents covering the lower level, but twenty. Steve had been sent in completely unprepared.

On your side, all it took one look towards Pam to know what had gone wrong. She had misread the satellite thermal readings of the base. An easy mistake to make, but one that carried potentially deadly consequences.

After twenty minutes of chaos on both your end and theirs, all of the Avengers were safely back on the quinjet and heading back home. As you pulled out your own earpiece in exhaustion, your eyes settled on Pam tucked away in the corner of the board room, visibly shaken.

"It's okay, Pam." You reassured her, walking over to her chair and placing a hand on her shoulder. "Everybody makes mistakes. You were just nervous. You're new to this, it's fine. It won't happen again."

She nodded her head, still refusing to look you in the eyes. "Is Steve- Are they okay?"

You gave her shoulder a light squeeze before taking a step back. "They're scraped up a bit, but fine. It's okay, Pam."

The younger agent let out a sigh of relief and you smiled, turning around and leaving her to collect herself as you began to clean up the board room and prepare for the team's landing.

You were expecting the Avengers to be upset when they arrived back home, but nothing could have prepared you for how upset Bucky was. As soon as the doors of the quinjet had slid open, he was storming out of the shuttle and towards you and Pam.

"What the fuck" he seethed, eyes darting between the two of you, "was that?!"

You could hear Pam take a shaky breath behind you.

"There was a miscalculation of the thermal readings-" You began, speaking calmly to the ex-soldier. Of course after weeks of silence, this was how he approached you.

His head snapped towards Pam and you groaned internally.

"Are you serious?" he raised his voice in exasperation, "It's your first mission with us and you've already put our lives at risk"

"Bucky-" Steve tried to intervene, but his friend wouldn't let him.

"No!" he continued, "If I hadn't gotten there when I did, you might not even be here right now. Her dumb mistake put your life in danger, Steve! If she can't do her job, why is she even here?"

"Stop." You cut in, voice coming out more confident than you expected as you gently took a step forward.

Everyone looked at you in surprise.

"It was my fault that the images were misread." You lied smoothly.

Bucky's brows furrowed in confusion, the corner of his mouth twitching downwards for a split second. "What?"

"She read it right, I made a mistake while reviewing it. I'm sorry, I'll be more careful next time."

Bucky paused before sighing out in frustration and storming out of the room, a few of the other avengers following suite, exhausted. Pam sent you a grateful glance before leaving as well.

As the door shut behind her you turned to find Natasha staring questioningly at you.

"What was that?" she asked.

Both you and Steve looked at her in surprise.

"Pardon?"

"You didn't make a mistake, Y/N. I'm not an idiot. Why were you covering Pam's ass?"

The heat in your cheeks began to rise as Natasha continued stare at you, waiting for an answer. You should have known Natasha would be able to see straight through you.

"It was her first mission, she was nervous. Everybody makes mistakes." You explained softly. "Plus, Bucky was scaring her."

"You were lying?" Steve asked incredulously.

"She knew she'd made the mistake the second you called in, Steve. She was already really upset."

Steve sighed out in frustration, running his large hands over his face. "You know things are going to be even worse between you and Buck now, right?"

You nodded your head slowly. "He already didn't like me." You smiled sadly, looking up at him. "Him and Pam get along well; I didn't want to ruin that."

You wished you hadn't seen how both of their faces softened in pity at your words. Before they could respond, you said your goodnights and left.

You found it difficult to fall asleep that night, so when you awoke the next morning and it was already quarter past eleven, you weren't surprised. Pulling on an old pair of sweatpants and a tank top, you headed out of your room and downstairs towards the kitchen.

Many of the floors in the tower set aside for the avengers held only a few bedrooms. Some of the floors, however, held common spaces like the kitchen and recreational spaces for you to share.

Upon arriving on the floor, you found most of the Avengers taking advantage of the day off. A few were sat around the television, Pam, Bucky and Steve were chatting by the kitchen counter and Wanda was working around the stove top in silence.

"Morning, sleepyhead." Steve greeted as you walked by, a goofy grin playing on his lips as you rolled your eyes jokingly. Pam shot you a small smile and you returned it. Bucky all but ignored you.

Refusing to let his behaviour get to you, you made your way over to Wanda.

"What's cooking, good looking?" You joked, leaning back against the counter.

Wanda laughed loudly, turning to look at you from over her shoulder.

"Lunch." She grinned, "Would you like some?"

You nodded your head. "Can I help? I'm starving."

"I think I will be fine, I'm almost done."

You watched as she continued to work around the kitchen before turning around and scanning the room, deciding to join Natasha and the others on the couch.

Bucky looked away as soon as he saw the elevator doors open. Training his eyes on Pam, he tried to focus on what she was saying as you entered. He'd already apologized to her earlier that morning; he just didn't have the guts to do the same to you.

He hadn't meant to blow up at you and Pam – he really hadn't. He'd been exhausted and shaken up from his first time back in the field and words had flown out of his mouth before he could even register what was happening.

Thinking back on it, he began to fill with even more shame. He'd managed to explode at the one person in the tower who had been nothing but kind and patient with him. He had been right from the start; you weren't someone he deserved in his life. Especially not after all that he'd done. Apparently, all he could do was hurt you.

Getting close to someone like you just wasn't worth the risks.