My original character thoughts.

Im still here

I always knew you were there once you came.
You never left no matter how many times I said 'get the fuck out.'
And you're still here.
You're still fucking here.

I grasped my chest quietly, feeling the urge to throw up just thinking about you. I desperately scratched for you, yet look where this has brought me old friend. A miserable heap of uselessness with the worlds most amazing person dealing with what you did to me. I should have never opened that book. I should've never let you attach yourself to me. Yet here you are, clinging to my very soul like some desperate starved child reaching for a crumb.

Why won't you just leave?
Why won't you just die?

I've waited ten years for you to stop. Stop inching yourself into my creations. Stop begging me for food. Stop begging me for control. You're so irritating. Why did I call you my friend for all those years? You gave me trouble, give me trouble, you're nothing but trouble.

Now I look at my arms and sigh...
Why did you have to scar me so bad?
All these colourful scars, whilst beautiful in some regards, are painful. They always stay fresh no matter what I do. They'll never leave me and I don't know if I should feel grateful or despise you.
But either way.

I guess I could thank you for leading me to the most amazing person in the world. After all,

something has to die before it starts anew, no matter how much you love it.



~~~~~
This was in my drafts for months and hadn't been touched for awhile. I edited it a bit. It's nothing big at all, actually quite small, but it's something, right?