My original character thoughts.

It reminds me of you.

[If you got an notification of this being edited, it was me adding on. It is still not finished.]

Flowers are pretty.
But Flowers can be poisonous.
Oh, my lovely monkshood plant.
How many open wounds did you touch with your toxic beauty?
Because I feel several of mine seem to be irritated and poisoned...
But I cannot help but stroke your lovely petals as I begin to die to your lovely venom.

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Dear Diary,

Just fucking kidding, you think I have time to let my 50-year-old self know how much of an asshole I was when I was 22? Well fuck off me, you ain't getting jack shit.

Whatever, I'm too tired today to put any effort into anything. Lemme make what is of note clear.
Winter is making me tired as fuck,
I drank like most of the leftover whiskey from Christmas and my head hurts,
I've been coughing so bitchass Slinky probably gave me cancer,
And I've been getting more desperate for attention so I think Tenta is rubbing off on me.

So basically, nothing new really. I'm almost sure if I kept up Diaries when I was like possessed I would've talked about being tired, hungry, bored, and looking for cheap alcohol.
I'm going to bed though now. Gonna ask E for hugs.

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Dear Diary,

It is probably sometime in mid-January I think. A lovely day to have I suppose. Tenta-child kinda pissed me off because it woke me up from my fifth nap of the day, but I can't complain really. I just had coffee since I know it's persistent as fuck, but it's not like I did anything in that time other than pet the damn thing. 

Basically, every day if I am honest.

Though, during my unintentional 7th nap, I was just ignoring the work I have until the weirdest thing happened? I just got winded while I was sleeping and got into a coughing fit. I think I could've broken a rib with the amount of coughing I fucking had dude no joke. Man, stitches were even worse than track and field, I tell ya. Despite it all, I think it's just some dumb occurrence and I plan to keep half-assing everything.

Side note, I got this plan to get Sci-Guy a cactus for Valentine's day so he can have something pretty and not have to really give a lot of shits about it. Dunno where I'll get one of those, but it's an early plan. Maybe a fake set of flowers will make him happy too.
Whatever this plan isn't total ass so hopefully? I can get through with it.

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Dear Diary,

Getting closer to Feb, so that's cool I guess? Really, I only made this entry to complain about my coughing. Like, honestly? I 100% think I caught something off Slinky. Like who the fuck wears a baseball hat, thin hoodie, thin shorts, long socks, and sneakers in fucking winter other than him? That's right, nobody except for a dumbass.

Whatever.
I know my depressive episodes are coming too often but I just came back properly after what, 10-11 year? I've been mentally nowhere for any of that, so I guess being sad comes with it. Erick is busy, so I wouldn't want to bother him with such petty things.  I need to break off now to gush over him though. Guy's a gem. Being around him just brings this odd tightness to my chest. I love the guy, so it's probably me falling head over heels for him more and more. If only there were gay pills that stopped me from being so... ugh.

My paper is small so I can't gush over Erick forever. Time to stop writing I guess.

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Jesus Christ, there's blood all over this fucking notebook.

I hate to be scared and weak, but I started coughing more violently recently and I literally coughed up blood a week ago right? Today I was coughing in the bathroom as I was trying to was my hand from my first coughing fit and I coughed up a flower. It makes my throat and skin itself burn, and I hate it. You'd think someone has been shoving flowers into my mouth while I sleep, honestly.

I'm nervous, I hate this. But I can't share this with Erick since he's busy and this is probably just a result of something I did surely? As long as I can stop coughing every few hours, I should be able to get good sleep without the fear of what these flowers mean. As much as they're pretty like Erick, they sting and do NOT look good covered in my blood.

I hope this isn't important.

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