Revisiting RadheShyam

Prateeksha

Meri Radhe,

A forever is much too short for me to sit beside you, to hold you close and to tell you that it'll all be fine. Just one night on earth then doesn't even compare, but I hope it was somehow enough to wipe your precious tears off. I did see some hints of a smile returning to your face afterwards, maybe at my poor jokes or at my ridiculous attempts at mimicry. Won't lie, that was and is my hard-earned heaven, Radhe!

I don't know if Narayan would find the time to answer your questions any time soon, but I've been searching for them myself. Perhaps I've found some answers too. First and foremost, let me remind you of the little milkmaid I first met here in Vrindavan – That carefree, delusional, quirky and yet much-too-pure-for-this-world girl. That is what you are Radhe, and it doesn't suit you to care for or to be worried about the future, no matter how bad it seems right now. It is you who taught me to live in and love the here and now, you can't forget that today! I don't know what our future holds, but it can't be that bad with you by my side. That's all I know and care about.

Now that I know you can see beyond my attempts of hiding tears, I'm not trying that stunt again. Excuse the stains on this paper please, just had to give my girl some company in crying. Can't leave her alone in anything, you know!

Poor jokes apart, let me clarify something today. All those things you mentioned there, paths, homes, rights, shopping, clothes, shringaar and so on – I know people do all that after getting married. But marriage doesn't grant access to all this, love does. If we don't get married, would you suddenly stop loving Maiyya as your own? Would me doing your shringaar mean anything less to you? Both of us know it won't. Radhe... in Krishna's life, all rights, all access, all happiness is reserved by and for you alone. Nothing else but pure love gives you that right. So yes, I'm going to be your personal chef all my life, whether you like it or not. Okay?

I know you have several questions, I do too. I know all that I've said here, you already know and understand. I also know what's bothering you – that it is not the same. I know that marriage is a beautiful commitment in itself, and it hurts you to think that we might never get to experience that bond. In answer to all your queries, your dilemmas, the pricks in your heart, I'll just say this – "sakhi ki icchha mere liye aadesh!"

It is time to remind you and this earth of a very special occasion. It also time for you to realize your true self. It is time for you to see for yourself – you might only need Kanha, but with that will come everything you've ever wished for. It is time for you to know, you don't just need Kanha, you OWN him since the beginning of time to its very end.

"Ab muskuraiye, Vadhu Ji! Aur kal bhor ki prateeksha kijiye..."

Your Var Ji,

Kanha!