"I've paid enough of petty dues"
"I've had enough of shitty news"
"I've had a thing for dirty shoes since I was 10
"Love dirty men alike"
"You're too horny" I say taking a bite of pizza
"Um says you. Bet you be hopping on Easts dick anytime you're...
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"Stupidity"
S A V A N N A H:
"I don't understand why you're freaking out" Dave rolls his eyes at me
"Because we were irresponsible" I huff standing up
"Relax ma, we'll go get a test later"
"David you're not listening to me! I could be pregnant!" I scream at him
I couldn't believe how irresponsible we have been.
"So what? You'll get an abortion" he says taking a seat on the couch
What the fuck did he just say?
"Abortion?"
He scrunches up his face. "Of course you'll have an abortion. You're 19, you're not ready and neither am I. Fuck I don't think I ever want damn kids"
"Seriously? So now you're telling me what I'm ready for?" I scoff putting my hands on my hips. "you're being a real dick"
Is he trying to tell me what I should do with my body? I know the fuck not
"Wow, I'm being a dick? I'm just being honest"
I couldn't believe what he was saying.
"You know what Dave? Imma just leave." I say walking to his front door. But he grabs my hand.
After falling asleep I had completely forgot again about us not using a condom. I had gone to school and only when I came back to Dave's place I remembered.
"Ay yo chill alright? Let's just go now and get the test. Then we'll talk about what will happen after" he kisses my cheek
He's right. We don't even know if I'm pregnant. It's one thing thinking you are and actually being pregnant.
"okay" I sigh resting my head against his chest. "Let's go"
———-
After coming back from the pharmacy I immediately sprint to the bathroom.
I flip over the test and wait for the results, tapping my nails against the sink
"Baby can I come in?" Dave ask softly behind the door and I just hum
I'm still mad at him for being insensitive earlier.
"Did you look yet?" He ask hugging me from behind.
"No, I'm nervous"
"Don't be" he kisses me on the cheek
"You said it yourself, you don't want a kid. So what happens if I'm pregnant? Are you going to leave me?" Tears fill my eyes
"No, no baby, I won't. I'm sorry okay? I was being a bitch. I didn't mean what I said, I was talking out of my ass." He hugs me tightly
I don't reply because I know he's just saying that to make me feel better. He was telling the truth earlier.
Taking a deep breath I turn over the test and it's....
Positive.
Thoughts flood my mind and my eyes water leading to tears streaming down my face.
Dave curses under his breath, letting me go and leaving the bathroom.
"Fuck, fuck!" He almost shouts knocking things down in the process
"oh my god" I cry
I don't know what to think. Should I get an abortion? Am I ready to have a baby? Can I afford a baby?
Shit I don't even have my own place or a job.
I can still hear Dave cursing in the background but I ignore him and slide down to the floor, bringing my knees to my chest.
Guess he really doesn't want a baby.
"Savannah" he says walking into the bathroom. "Savannah" he says louder once I don't answer him.
I look up "What?" I say with tear stained eyes
"I don't think you should keep the baby"
I scoff and look at him in disgust. "Really? That's what you say now? You didn't even ask how I'm feeling! I'm the one carrying our baby! You asshole" I scream
"I know, I know. Shit. I'm not ready Savannah. I don't even have a real job, fuck!" He yells
"Why are you yelling at me? It's not only my fault!" I raise my voice again
"I'm not yelling. I'm just fucking frustrated right now. Why the fuck do you want to keep it?" He shakes his head
"I never said that! I didn't even process all of it yet! But if you asked how I felt, you would have known" I shout at him, growing angry.
"You acting like you wanna keep it. You aren't saying anything! You're only fucking crying, like damn" he shouts at me
"I need to think alone David. I'm leaving" I wipe my eyes and stand up.
I need time to think alone. I don't need Dave in my ear telling me what to do. It's my body, my choice. Not his.
"Aight leave then" he says not looking at me, walking into his room and slamming his door.
I roll my eyes and put on my shoes, calling a taxi back to Shanes. Thankfully he is out of town so he won't be able to see me like this.
Walking into Shane's condo I sigh taking a seat on the couch. Tears once again find its way to my cheeks as I rest my face into my hands.
I don't understand why I was so stupid. Why didn't I think before letting lust take over.
Im disgusted with my self and my actions.
I dont know what I want to do.
Dave and I relationship is still a secret to everyone. How will they react when I tell them about my pregnancy?
And to make matters worse Dave and I are not on good terms right now. We have never fought like this. We have gotten into arguments but he always says goodbye with a kiss on my lips
This time he did not. He slammed a door in my face. Not caring if I left safely or not. I was hurt.
I understand him not wanting a kid because not everyone does. I didn't at a point in my life.
But that changes once you are actually pregnant.
If I do get an abortion I know for a fact I will regret it. I will always wonder what my life could've been with that baby.
But if I don't. I would have to drop out of school and earn some cash fast. I might even be a single parent seeing as Dave doesn't want it.
I'm 19 for fuck sakes.
I'm scared. And confused
I have to tell everyone about Dave and I relationship.
