Like Catching Lightning

Chapter 21

when i woke up the next morning, there was only one word to describe the way that i was feeling. that word being trash. and let me tell you this, it is not the best feeling.

i basically couldn't breath through my nose. it was all clogged and crusty, nasty stuff. my eyes were nearly glued shut with muta (it's tagalog, i don't like the real word. search it up if you so desire) and they burned like there was no tomorrow. my hair was probably EVERYWHERE, my throat ached so much so that it hurt to swallow, my back was sore from being curled up in a tight ball the whole night and my head pounded like crazy.

but i shouldn't be complaining. i deserved this pain.   

i don't really know why i cried myself to sleep. ricky and i kind of resolved things. i mean, we came to agreements..... well not really. we came to understandings. those are two very different things for some reason. we both spoke our minds and revealed truths and feelings. we were both really vulnerable which is important. and now, we are civil. nothing more nothing less. i suppose it's better than nothing, but it still hurts. i guess it was just the amount of emotion was really overwhelming. 

and crying drains the freaking life out of you. i can't moooooooooooove.

groaning, i sat up in my bed, rubbing my eyes and letting them adjust to the world around me. my brain was still working to process things, but i decided to start with the easy stuff. 

what was i hearing? that was simple: music. my alarm was going off and the clock read 8:30 am. next question: why was my alarm going off? it was monday. what happens on mondays? well, this monday was the first week of spring break for east high. you know, i don't really know because last week i shut down and the week before, i was still hazel and i would've been painting a wall right now.

my heart ached at the memory. that was the day ricky asked me on a date and we finally kissed for the first time since we were six. but that probably didn't count now, did it? i shook my head, trying to get the memory away and focus back on the questions.

so i really haven't done anything special on mondays. so why was my alarm ringing this monday? OH! i signed up for slots at clear dawn dance academy! 

i couldn't help the smile that grew on my face. there was nothing like crying yourself to sleep and then getting out all of your emotions through dance. it was easily another one of my passions. my moms had signed me up for dance when i was around three years old, and it was simple to say ballet was my favorite. i haven't done ballet in so long, so i'm crazy excited for today.

i sprang up from my bed, racing to my closet as fast as i could. despite not being literally 'allowed' to dance ballet, that didn't stop me from buying leotards and dancing around my kitchen to classical musical. ballet isn't just an activity, it's a freaking life style. you get skills, you can't just keep them. you have to work to maintain them, otherwise you lose them. kind of like relationships............NINI STOP. 

shooing the thought of him away once more, i grabbed my favorite leo out of my closet. it was a pinky color with light blue designs and pink roses. discount dance, man. they know what they are doing.