All You Want

23)Everything Feels Right

Granger was having an argument with McGonagall, and Draco was—

Not paying any attention.

He was still reeling from the revelation that Granger had not wanted him warned away following her heat. That she had asked him to scent-mark her because she actually trusted him.

He felt as though the ground had fallen away from beneath his feet and he was in the process of free-falling.

Maybe he'd hit his head harder than he'd realized when Burbage and his friends had caught him in the hallway. He'd been distracted at the time.

He'd been walking around in a daze since the moment Hermione had turned her face into the mattress and quietly said, "I'm actually pursuing medical options. . . Removing my ovaries to stop the heats. And my glands too. Just getting rid of the whole issue so that I won't have to deal with it anymore."

He'd been so shocked when she said it, he'd forgotten to breathe.

"No. Don't. You're mine." The words rose immediately to his tongue, and he had to bite them back.

No matter how many times he reminded himself it was all temporary, he couldn't stop himself from hoping that he could somehow find a way to convince her otherwise.

It was like she was in his blood; beating through his head more steadily than his pulse. As though the ground tilted toward her and eventually everything ended at her feet.

He wasn't sure when it had that happened. When all thoughts started ending with her.

But when she said "It makes more sense to just—stop being an Omega," he couldn't beg her not to.

Because she hated being an Omega, and he knew it.

In retrospect he should have realized she'd do something like that. To her it was problem to be solved. If she couldn't make it go away, she'd slice out every physical aspect she could get a scalpel near. Seize back the sense of control she was rarely willing to give up. Physically cut herself free from it.

Of course she would.

He hadn't ever expected he'd somehow get to keep her, but the desperation on her end staggered him somewhat.

He wasn't sure what he was supposed to do or say. Up until that moment, he'd thought there was chance he'd somehow find a way. There were things he'd dreamed about doing with her without even realizing.

Soulbonding.

Having children with her.

Which was bizarre, because he was eighteen. At the start of the school year he'd considered getting married within the next decade as early. Parenthood had never even occurred to him aside from the obligatory heir he'd have at some point.

He'd never even held a baby.

But when she said "remove my ovaries," he was suddenly struck by the realization he wanted to have children with her. Children. As in multiple. That he had ideas of what they'd look like.

He was attached to the idea.

He had to leave because he wasn't sure what he might say or do if he stayed. He might have said something that would have resulted in getting his balls hexed off by Granger, removing all chance of hypothetical children for an entirely different reason.

"Malfoy, are you upset at me?"

He'd frozen and then turned back to look at her. "Not at all, Granger. I just happen to have a bed in my dorm that I should probably make an occasional appearance in."