All You Want

25) I Want You To Be Happier

"I wanted to talk to you about Draco," Theo said, cocking his head to the side as he stared at her. "You said yesterday that your—thing with each other isn't a relationship, but it appears to have taken a slight turn. If the scene in the hospital wing was anything to by."

Hermione raised an eyebrow.

Theo drew a quick breath and straightened as he studied her. There was something in his expression that hadn't been there in the DADA classroom. A sort of wariness or reserve; Hermione wasn't sure which.

"I know you and Draco aren't what would be described as friends, but he isn't the same person he was in the past years here at school." Theo seemed to hesitate slightly. "I know you're in a tight spot but—I hope you realize that just because he's an easy solution doesn't mean it isn't—personal for him."

Hermione felt a sense of cold slide through her spine. "Did—," she hesitated slightly and bit her lip for a moment. "Did Draco tell you that I'm sleeping with him because of his probation?"

Theo gave a slow nod. Hermione pressed her lips together and looked away down the hall.

"I see." The corner of her mouth twitched. "I didn't realize that was how I come across to people. That I seem like the kind of person who would blackmail someone into having sex with me." Her hold on her wand tightened slightly.

"He didn't say you were blackmailing him," Theo said quickly, his eyes widening. "That's not how he put it. He just said that it's why it's him, rather than anyone else. Because he's—safer for you. It's not like any of us would have said no." He shrugged. "Well, maybe Longbottom. You have to agree that it's rather odd that it's Draco you're with."

Hermione clenched her jaw. "Everything about the situation is odd, including the fact it exists. I'm trying to manage it as best I can. I didn't—expect things with Malfoy to go for this long. He didn't tell me that he thought I'd only asked because of his probation. If I'd known, I would have told him that it wasn't. But he didn't tell me that until today. And when he did, he framed it as being an entirely reasonable, and unsurprising thing for me to do—" Her voice cut off.

"Your 'happiness' is the axis upon which their world turns."

Draco would do anything for her. He'd rationalize his way into doing whatever he thought she wanted from him; into thinking it was fair of her to ask it. Being used by her. Being interested in her.

It was all the same.

There was a knot in her stomach, twisting tighter and tighter as the day wore on.

"Why did you ask him? If you don't mind my asking." Theo's voice cut into her thoughts.

She blinked looked at Theo and wanted to go find a hole to hide in.

"I felt like I could trust him," she said, twitching her shoulder. "He—can tell when I'm asking for something I don't actually want. And—he stops when I say no. Everyone else just ignores it. Even Neville, although he felt so badly afterward that he wanted to withdraw from school."

Theo winced. "I'm sorry. I never apologized, but I felt terrible about how we all acted after McGonagall brought you out. I should have apologized sooner. Or at least yesterday when we talked."

Hermione shrugged again and felt bitter. "It's the way Alphas are. The books make it pretty clear that there's nothing to be done about it."

"And that's why you trust Draco," Theo said, "because he's not like that."

Hermione gave small nod. "I suppose so."

Theo's expression grew briefly resigned before clearing. "Well, that makes sense. So, what are you two up to now? It would help to know if I'm running interference with Pansy."