rant

love.

i'm really tired.
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mainly speaking about those fanfics i read. i just want to hold someone close, and trust them. i mean don't get me wrong the stuff im reading is quite the journey. it's just that im tired of the reckless toy that y/n has come, you know? everything i read, every detail has heartbreaking and raging sex. i just want to be able to look at someone and not think of the erotic side of my brain. i want to look and imagine someone of who i can spend the rest of my life with. i want to look at someone and feel the inevitable warmth as if they are the sun. i want to look at someone as if they were what i've been looking for my whole life. i want them to be rhe reason why i can get out of this hole that im in. i want to lose them in a mall and instantly find them again. i want to sit by a fireplace resting my eyes against the crackling, spewing hot air as we relax knowing we will be okay. i want it to be our last moments together on the brim of existence.
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i want them to ask the questions instead of me.