Children of Villains (Hamilton Fanfiction)

Conflicting Decisions

The next morning, Philip awoke later than usual. He sat up and noticed the curtains were closed, letting only a soft glow come in from the outside. The clock on the wall informed him it was already past 9am. He sat up and sighed. Even though he has managed to sleep for over 8 hours, both his body and mind felt heavy, and he was considering just letting himself fall back into the covers and not get up at all. That would be stupid, he told himself, and got up. Making his bed was an easy task, and so he then looked around the room. Noticing the closet, he pulled open the doors to find a few sets of fresh clothing. "Oh thank god", he muttered to himself and pulled out a set.

It was a relief to him pulling on the clean clothes after the days of travel in one pair, and his tiredness was almost gone. His hair still dripping from the shower, he stepped out of one of the bathrooms at the end of the hall with everyone's bedrooms. No sound could be heard, and so Philip assumed everyone was already out and going about their tasks. He quickly went back to his room and threw his old clothes over the chair, deciding he'd ask where to put it later. He threw a quick look to the mirror. Simple brown pants and a dark green pullover. Philip remembered seeing the same kind of pullover in his father's, no wait, Frances' father's belongings. It seemed strange to him that he'd remember this detail, but he decided not to think about it, and instead walked out and downstairs.

On the stairs he almost bumped into Lafayette, who smiled when he saw Philip. "Ah, there you are petit Hamilton! Philip, I mean. We thought we'd let you sleep, you need some time to rest after that journey." Philip chuckled at the name, already feeling better with his friend's happy attitude. "That was nice of you, thanks." Gilbert waved for him to come downstairs, and Philip followed the frenchman into the kitchen. "Come here and sit down, what do you want for breakfast?" He pushed Philip down on a chair at the small table without giving him much of a choice. "Uhm... I don't know, anything's fine." Lafayette shrugged and put some toast in the toaster, then sat next to Philip. "We usually eat in the big room, but it's late so nobody's there anymore, and it's uncomfortably cold with just two people", he explained.

Then he noticed the sweater Philip was wearing, and his eyes lit up. "Did you find that in your closet?", he asked with a grin. Philip nodded. "It used to be your father's, he had two but we only have this one left", Gilbert explained as he stood up and pulled the toast out of the toaster. "Green was his favorite color, did you know that?" Philip laughed. "Gil, a total stranger knows more about my father than I do!" Lafayette shrugged and slid Philip's breakfast over to him, making an over-the-top gesture. "Sir, your breakfast!" Philip groaned. "Oh god, stop." Lafayette chuckled and sat down next to him again. "Believe me, you'll learn alot more about your dad." Philip nodded and sighed. "Yeah, I know... it just all seems strangely... far away, you know? I mean, I don't even have a reason to be here right now, Theo just kind of showed up and told me to come along, and I did. And all y'all seem to know me better than I know myself, it's weird, I have no idea what to do."

Gilbert shook his head softly. "Nobody expects you to know what to do right now. And it's fine if you don't know. It will come eventually. I suggest for now you try to learn as much about your past as possible, and try to find out what your goal is. And, please, take your time, don't rush in and overwork yourself like your father did." Philip nodded and took a bite of his toast. "Did you know him well?" Gilbert smiled. "Yeah, I did. Say, do you know how this country came to be in the first place?" Philip tilted his head. "Not really. I think dad- I mean, Frances' dad, said there was a war not too long ago, bt I don't remember the specifics." Lafayette grinned. "You're right with the war. Your father, Laurens, Hercules who you talked to on the phone and I were a team back in the war. Well, we were a friendgroup that is, it happened that we were apart longer periods of time. But we ended up always sticking together. Your dad was always on his feet and talking, I sometimes got the feeling he didn't sleep at all. He was Mr. Washington's right hand man. Washington was the leader of the revolution, in case you didn't know."

Philip listened to the story smiling. This sounded so much more lively than cold politics that his father had been described to him with. It also explained the strange aura Mr. Washington gave off, so intimidating yet comforting. Philip felt things clearing up in his head, and at the same time felt a little intimidated by his new friends. "Well anyways", Lafayette continued, "you were born, and the war ended not too long afterwards. We had a new country. Washington became president, your father became the secretary of treasury. A man named Jefferson, who's now the current president, was the secretary of state. There was a lot more, but I can't explain all of it. I went back to France to fight in the revolution there, Laurens spent some time in London before bringing child, Frances, back here. I'm not entirely sure what Hercules did during that time, I think he was mostly working in the backround and spent some time in his tailoring shop. But yeah, then came the scandal, and everything kind of exploded. Washington stepped down and I came back to stand with my friends in time of need. Laurens went away with you, and everyone else got executed... well, almost everyone. Your sister survived, but just like with you we didn't know where she went. She might be dead by now."

Philip nodded along with the story, several questions buzzing in his mind. "What was that scandal all about?" Lafayette sighed. "Your father was accused of illegally transferring the state's money to private accounts. Stealing in the big way. Washington couldn't do anything, his enemies had control over what happened." Philip stared down at his plate, trying to process the information. "So my dad was a bad guy?", he asked quietly. Lafayette put a hand on his shoulder. "Your father made some bad choices at the end of his life. He wasn't a bad person."

Philip stayed quiet. He couldn't bring himself to say anything, this man seemed like a stranger to him, and he didn't want to say anything without being sure, especially in front of his old friend. Instead, he kept his gaze on his plate, and nodded slightly. Lafayette sighed and stood up. "You don't have to say anything. Do you have any other questions?" Philip shook his head. "No, not really." He suddenly felt a strange weight in his chest. Gilbert seemed to sense the mood swing, and gave him a reassuring smile. "If there's anything you want to ask, you can always come to me, alright? Or anyone else, I'm sure." "Thank you, really."

Gilbert chuckled. "Don't worry about it. Try and use today to make yourself at home, okay? If you need me I'll either be in the office or at my room, it's two door to the right from yours." Philip nodded and watched Lafayette leave the kitchen. He sighed and slumped over, letting his forehead rest on the cool table top. The cold feeling comforted him, and so he stayed like this for a little longer, his thoughts swirling in his mind as they so often did. He knew he could trust Lafayette's and everyone else's judgement, but still he couldn't bring himself to form an opinion about someone he didn't even know. On one hand he wanted to stand by his father no matter what, but he knew that mindset was foolish, and to think for himself would be the best option, yet he himself had no idea about the man he was supposed to call his father.

"Pip?" Philip shot up from the table and looked to the door. Theodosia was standing in the doorway with a worried smile. "You okay?", she asked. Philip sighed and nodded. "Yeah, I was just thinking. But, I won't come to a conclusion anyways. What have you been up to?" Theodosia shrugged. "I went to talk to my father this morning. Since you're here now, my job is technically done..." Philip stood up from his chair quickly. "You're leaving?" The pain in his voice was apparent, and Theodosia sighed. "I- kind of. I asked my father if I could stay here for a little longer while he moves on to his next job. Since I'm not technically employed with him, I can do whatever I want. He's not thrilled, but couldn't really do anything about it so he agreed. I just have to talk to Washington." "And if he says no...?" Theodosia gave him a sad smile. "Then I'll leave, probably forever."