The Queen's Conquer

Chapter 1 : Runaway

Whelve • [welve]
To bury something deep; to hide.

🖤

~+~

There's only so much isolation a person can take. Humans are social creatures after all—well, half-humans at least. Werewolves, in my case. But I've seemed to live under such conditions for the past two months.

Most would say I've stretched the limit by now—likely gone insane from this loneliness which I won't lie, I sometimes have. The countless nights of crying myself to sleep—craving the touch of someone else—will never amount to the crushing heartache that consumes me every day. But I have to remind myself that there's a purpose behind it all. Because if I don't, I might break in two—I might lose the people I care most about in life. And I don't know how I would be able to live with that much guilt.

Sitting on the ledge of a fairly steep mountain, I look over the snow-filled landscape that's practically ingrained itself into my mind. I chew through the unappetizing raw deer meat I just finished hunting for, enjoying the scenic view of the place I've called home for the past two months.

The sun has begun to set against the horizon as its coral and lavender shades intensify the fading sky. The faint image of the moon appears amongst the twinkling stars as the bright ball of gas dims along with its beautiful colors. But my attention stays focused on the moon, staring up at it and sadly smiling.

You know, doing that isn't going to make Moon Goddess want to speak to you, Delphine—my wolf—says down our bond.

Oh, shut up. Can I just enjoy our solar system without your commentary? I retort.

Whatever.

Still bossy as always, Delphine and I have created what one would call a love-hate relationship during these sixty days of solitude. Being alone with a second conscience does seem to suffice for the lack of actual social interactions, but Delphine is like a wild rodent who constantly refuses to listen to me. I primarily blame her attitude on her uncooperative behavior though.

We've been able to connect more deeply with one another since the beginning of this isolation, taking a few hours each day to have conversations about our wellbeing, establishing boundaries when it comes to who's in control when I shift, and most importantly, learning how to understand each other's feelings. But relying on one another hasn't proven to be very beneficial in the process of finding stability within our relationship. Naturally, Delphine allows her emotions to overpower her rationality and sometimes barely considers the consequences.

Even with everyday relapsing the last—every day finding myself waking up feeling the same way—our strengthening bond gives me hope that it won't be too long until I can see him again.

There's not a day that goes by that I don't think about him—about the repercussions of my choice to disappear from his life. I can only imagine the amount of emotional pain I've put him through because of my decision. And despite how badly I want to tell him everything—how badly I want to hold him again and never let go—it would all mean returning to Phantomridge or revealing my location in the process. I know if we were to ever see each other again, he'll never allow me to leave again. Then, these two months would've all been for nothing.

Mates. The very bond between us that's been the cause of my panic attacks, heartache, and nightmares. There are moments when I'm out hunting in this mysterious forest that I swear I can feel his presence for a heartbeat—it's always faint, but still there to haunt me. Today wasn't one of those days though. And the last time I had felt something even close to a wisp of a tug was weeks ago.