Guardian Angel||Destiel

four

I dreaded school. I wanted to put a bullet in my brain and just call it a day. All of Sunday I stayed in my room, ignoring my phone, ignoring the knocks and ignoring when Dad called me down the stairs and when Sammy did too for dinner. I didn't leave at all, only to go to the bathroom. That's it. I was embarrassed and afraid they knew somehow even though they probably didn't.

I slowly dressed myself, and I didn't even look in the mirror. Despite everything Castiel told me, I still felt dirty. Used. Disgusting. That night rained on my ego and stripped me down completely. I have no false or real confidence left. I felt empty. I slowly made my way downstairs, reminding myself that no one knows. They can't. Sam wasn't there and as far as Dad's concerned, I wasn't at a party. Plus I didn't tell anyone other than Castiel and Castiel doesn't talk to Sam. I don't think so anyway.

I made my way into the kitchen and I noticed Sam and Dad both looked at me, and the look on their faces said it all. Fuck. Or maybe I concerned them by staying in my room all weekend. I probably don't look the best either. I cautiously make my way over to the fridge, pulling it open. I couldn't read their faces properly enough to know if the look was a "are you okay what's going on?" look or a "are you okay I know what happened" look. "Damn I'm not even hungry, guess I'm still hungover." I mumble and close it. Even though obviously I'm not. That'sa lie and everyone knows it.

"Dean we need to talk about this." Dad says and I shrug. "I was hungover that's why I was up in my room yesterday. I drank at the party I'm sorry. I got school." I say and he gives me a stern look. "You and Sam are staying home don't you leave. Talk to us please." He says and I got to play this off. Maybe they heard rumors. "It's only alcohol, and believe me I won't be drinking ever again. Killer headache still." I lie and he sighs. "Sit down with us." He says and I slowly walk over. "Although I do wish you'd stay away from the alcohol, we aren't talking about that." Dad says and Sam looked upset in a very sad way. Now that I think about it, Dad did too. Fuck they know.

"Then what?" I ask., swallowing harshly. "Dean, I saw the video. I had to show Dad, I'm sorry. He needed to know." Sam suddenly says and my heart jumped to my throat. I felt tears glaze my eyes and I clenched my jaw. Someone filmed it. "Congrats, the rumors were true and I didn't even know it either." I say, more tears rushing to my eyes. "Dean, no sit." Dad says and they spilled. "I didn't want that you know. I didn't.." I say and he grabs my arm. "Dean, I know. I watched the video, it had audio. That's why I wanted to talk. You were assaulted and we need to talk about it." He says calmly and I slowly sit back down, tears still falling down my face.

"There's nothing to talk about though. You know, everyone knows clearly." I say and Dad sighs. "Not only did they sexually assault you, they hit you. And there's video proof of it. They need to be held accountable for that." He says and I shake my head. "Dad no, that'll make it worse." I say and he sighs. "If I have to pull you out of school, I will. But they are not gonna get away with that. They violated you." He says sternly and oh look more tears. "Can they really get in that much trouble considering I liked it?" I choke out and he furrows his eyebrows and I immediately regretted saying it. I didn't even dare to look at my younger brother.

"Dean." He says and I immediately look away. "Dean look at me." Dad repeats and I look up. "I don't care, if that's what you think. I don't care who you like or date or do whatever with, as long as it's consensual. But your body will naturally react that way when touched like that. It doesn't matter if you liked it, you were resisting in that video. As your father please let me help you." He says and he genuinely sounded upset. I felt horrible, it was embarrassing and I felt gross.

"We can't take it to court, I'm a guy. They'll laugh. And it wasn't rape so they won't care." I say and he slowly nods. "Sure but I can take it to the principal and get him and whoever filmed it expelled and if he refuses than that's a court case." He says and I rub at my eyes, trying to stop myself from crying. It was embarrassing. "Can I go back upstairs now?" I ask and he sighs. "No, you're gonna eat. And drink some water and then go shower. It's gonna be hard but you can't let it over take you." He says and I sigh but nod. "Alright." I say and press my forehead against the cool of the table to try and calm down.