𝐋𝐞𝐠𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐈𝐧𝐬𝐚𝐧𝐞 ~ 𝐁𝐋𝐀𝐂𝐊𝐏𝐈𝐍𝐊 𝐱 𝐁𝐓𝐒 𝐀𝐔

prologue

The woman cried until her voice went hoarse until she had finally lost the ability to cry anymore. Why had this happened to her? Her? She knew she had grown selfish, but why should she not, when she has nobody to share with, talk with, protect? She only had herself, and how she wished she hadn't, how she wished that she could die from self-pity, crawl into a hole and suffocate herself. Oh, how she hated herself, and yet again, she was the only thing she had left... and she didn't want it anymore. It had brought her only trouble, grief and... anger, possibly thinking it was amusing to kill off anyone she had, she hated this, she hated being weak, she hated showing emotions in front of herself, in front of anyone, she hated breathing, she hated crying for people who should be alive, had it not been for her.

Choked sobs echoed throughout the small room, an even smaller figure, in the corner, hunched up. Their legs pressed up against their chest, their arms wrapped around their legs, and their head falling back, almost limp, on the wall behind them. A heart-wrenching cry sounded out, the figure slowly rocking forwards and backwards, crying out in anguish, their face flushed red, eyes bloodshot and tear-tracks lining down their face.

No light was found in that room, only darkness. Everything was silent, except for the gut-twisting cries of the woman who had seen too much, lost too much, who huddled in the corner, allowing herself to pathetically cry over the ones she had seen die in front of her eyes, her mind slowly being stripped away of its now-lost innocence, the innocence she never had to start with. Every little thing she cared about, slowly being ripped away from her, growing further and further until she couldn't handle it anymore. 

She let out a shaky breath, taking another brief moment, her eyesight, blurry and unfocused. All the energy had left her body, yet she wasn't surprised, she had cried everyday, everyday, hoping that they would somehow return to her, but, they didn't. She hated them, she hated them for leaving her so early, for leaving her alone, for leaving her, although, she knew, deep down, they had no choice, they were meant to die, to leave her in that state. The dark room had gone silent, the occasional, quiet and unsettled breathing of the woman,effortlessly bouncing on the walls. For the first time for as long as she could admit it, she was alone. She didn't want to be, she wanted to be with them, dead or alive, she didn't care, she wanted to be with them. She breathed out once more, with difficulty, standing up on her trembling legs and wobbling her way towards the only place of her new-wanted freedom.

The woman had cried until her voice went hoarse, sitting on the ledge of a high-rise building, dangling her scrawny legs in the air and sucking in the cold air which blistered her cold skin painfully. She managed a small smile and stood up, putting her arms half-way in the air. She felt insane for doing this. But she loved it. She loved how she thought she was going to be with them soon. A quick realisation hit her as she opened her eyes, staring at the shining lights of the city, her knees quavering under her body, clicking as they buckled, sending her head-first, down the building, off the ledge, and towards the ground. She let out a surprised cry and a terrified, air-splitting scream, tears freely roaming down her doll-like face, splattering messily on her cheeks as she continued to cry out.

'I don't want to die...' she whispered.