𝗠𝗶𝗻𝗲, 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗼𝗻𝗹𝘆 𝗺𝗶𝗻𝗲. | 𝗚𝗶𝘆𝘂𝗦𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗼

C H A P T E R 15 ✵

GIYUU

I grab my jacket, phone and keys and storm out of my house, slamming the door behind me, which is self-defeating, because when it comes of it hinges, again, I'll be the one to fix it.

My mind...it's not helping, I can't stand this anymore, I need to clear my thoughts, I need to do something other than think how miserable my life is, and of how my existence doesn't mean shit to anybody.

Once I'm outside, I don't know where to go, I get on my bike and head for down town, then change my mind and get on Tokyo-Gaiken Expressway, and just keep riding, thinking about absolutely nothing, just a blank mind, stopping after an hour to fill my tank, I pull out my phone while I'm doing it and check on messages, Nothing. I should call Kochou and ask her if everything is alright, as I noticed that one guy following her everywhere yesterday, she clearly seemed annoyed, but no, I'm not in mood to talk to anybody, and it's not my business, and anyway what the hell would I say? I would sound like a creep.
I put my phone away.

I ride for almost three hours until I hit wide desert roads dotted with scrubby bushes, even though it's getting late, it's hotter here near some desert, and I stop to take off my jacket as I cruise closer to a tree nearby.

I hopped off my bike and went over to the tree, I slowly kneel down and slump my back against the tree log, and raised my head to look at the dark starless sky. Thinking about how my life has become.

•••

It's past midnight by the time I get back to Tokyo, I thought about getting on Tokyo-Gaiken Expressway and riding through the night, as far as I could go until I dropped from exhaustion. Trying to clear whatever weird thoughts I've been having lately, it's been hard, very hard the last three years have been the worst, but...

After thinking and thinking, I'm came into conclusion that Life maybe, just maybe started to get better with me, I don't recall being quite happy, after the cursed accident that happened to my parents and sister I lost all hope in life, there's no such thing as 'Hope' anyway, all bullshit and fake promises, let's be honest, love doesn't exist, or more like; it does exist, but it never lasts. But from my own perspective, I never believed in it.

Upon hearing the news of Sabito and Makomo coming to visit I couldn't help but feel happy but also a bit awkwardness as well.

Five years ago, they decided to go and study abroad, being close friends since childhood they tried over and over to persuade me come with them, but I refused because I didn't want to be a third wheel for entire five years, and I couldn't leave my family, but then three years later, I lost everything, well not everything, I still have Sabito, Makomo, and Urokodaki, but we haven't met in a very long time, I don't know how to feel about it, should I be happy? Should I be sad? Or maybe should I be nervous?

•••

After clearing my thoughts, I came back to my house, and checked my phones to find two missed calls from Kochou, as long as I remember, I've called her every single night since that one night I called her while being unconscious of it, there's nothing to talk about, and I don't like talking, so we'd just watch a movie, whenever it's my turn to pick one She would keep complaining the whole time that she doesn't like the movie and would tease me that I've a terrible taste in movies, although, she's the one with the terrible taste of movies. sometimes she'd fall asleep and snore in my ear, though I don't mind, The point is, this is the first time she has ever called me.