Misadventures in Parenthood

Feelings

  Eugene gave a tired stretch as he walked into the bedroom.

"He's finally out, man that kid did not want to go to sleep tonight."

He continued talking as he sat on the bed and started to get undressed. Unawares that his wife who was curled up next to him was silently crying.

"I can't believe how well he did on our walk today, he walked so far. I can't believe he's only been on his feet for a few weeks."

The large sniff next to him made him turn and put his hand on Rapunzel's shoulder.

"What's wrong?"

"It's just, it's gone so fast."

"What has?"

"He's not a baby anymore."

"Oh, sunshine."

"I just, I know I shouldn't cry. I just get so overwhelmed by it all you know. I didn't know that these emotions could be so big, and so complicated."

"What emotions love?"

"Being a parent. He learns something new every day, and with each new skill he gains more independence and I am so proud of him, and it's so joyful to watch. Yet at the same time each step towards independence is a step away from me, and it's like I mourn the perfect little new-born he was. I was his entire world, his comfort, his food, we weren't even separate beings you know? He needed me to survive, and everything my body did was to take care of him. I've already forgotten what it was like when he was growing inside of me. I've already started to forget how small, and yet just how strong he was in those first few days, what he smelled like, what his breathing sounded like when he was sleeping. I just can't hold onto it no matter how hard I try. We, cannot hold onto these days forever, can we?"

"No, we can only try and hold onto each other. It's going to be a long time until he stops needing us completely you know."

She snuggled in close to him.

"I know. I just miss the tininess of him, the sweetness, how he was completely unaware of the world around him. "

"Well... We could make another one. "

"Oh." She smiled and rested her hand across his cheek. Then she kissed him, a serious and deep kind of kiss, and he could do nothing but respond despite the wetness of her cheeks against his.

"I didn't actually mean now." He said breathlessly as she pulled away.

"Oh, is there any reason to wait?"

"No, nope, none that I can think off."

***

 I love writing these snippets of parenting life, I take so much of it from my own experience and my own emotions.