Syn#1:Heaven is a Syn away MxM (Staten Krown)

19

"Are we still together?" T-Boy asked me.

I sighed, "We are in the hospital with your adopted brother getting
poison treatment and the first thing you do is if we are still together?"

We'd been in the hospital waiting room for over an hour. T-Boy had
been asking me a question about where our relationship was at every ten
minutes. I really just avoided the questions because my mind was
preoccupied with thinking about Sampson. T-Boy didn't seem too concerned
about Sampson. He was concerned, but not anywhere near as much as I was
concerned.

Shane was there, but he wasn't too concerned about Sampson either. He kept
running in and out of the hospital because he was having parking trouble.
I had the feeling that he really wanted to just leave, but it wouldn't be
morally right. He had showed up for some kind of support after I'd told
him Sampson tried to commit suicide. Shane was more furious about having
to move his car then sad about Sampson.

Then there was Byron. It pissed me off that he didn't look too
distraught either. He was talking to this FLY ass guy who was sitting next
to him. Truth was I would have been trying to talk to the guy too, but I
was too preoccupied with these depressed thoughts.

They all were superficial at the moment. It was almost like they were
there. They said they were supporting Sampson. I guess in a way they
really were supporting him by even being at the hospital. Yet still they
should have showed a little more interest or concern. It just wasn't
right.

"The doctor said Sampson was going to be fine," T-Boy explained, "What
are you so miserable about? You should be happy."

He was kind of right. I was more emotional then I usually was. I
felt like what happened to Sampson was my fault. It really was my fucking
fault! I had blamed Sampson for what Holden did. I was the reason Sampson
had tried to commit suicide!

I put my head down, "Its just that this is all my fault."

"What?"

I shook my head. I had wanted to talk to someone about it. T-Boy
wasn't exactly the first person that I had in mind, but I knew that if
Sampson were better then he'd probably want to see us any time now. How
could I look at Sampson knowing that I had blamed him for something his
twin brother did?

"No never mind."

"Tell me, Syn," T-Boy poked looking at me with his appealing
expression, "What were you just saying?"

I didn't know how to put it. I felt soft. For the first time in my
life, I wasn't confident or certain about myself. I had made a mistake. I
had made a mistake that could of cost a life. I was such an ass!

"I got mad at Sampson," I explained, "I think that's why he tried to
kill himself."

T-Boy laughed, "No, Sampson tried to kill himself because he's an
emotional wreck."

Sampson really was an emotional wreck. He took things so personally.
I knew it would be so easy to hurt his ego. He was very sensitive. His
sensitivity could be triggered off my so many different things.

"No," I explained, "Its because of Holden."

"Holden "

When T-Boy said the name, his voice kind of trailed off and he looked
away from me. He looked as though he was remembering Holden. He looked
like he was recalling his first love and all the things they shared
together. He was recalling his first time with Holden.

"I saw Holden," I explained, "I saw him at a dinner party. I got mad
at Sampson the next day because I thought he was Holden and he denied to
know me."