ʙʀᴇᴀᴛʜᴇ || тѕυккιуαмα ||

61

~~~

"Can you tell me what happened...?" Tsukki asked as he wrapped the roller bandage around my arm and along my thumb and palm tightly.

I felt my leg bob faintly against the bathroom floor, straightening my posture as I sat on the toilet lid—Tsukki positioned between my knees subtly.

I swallowed the small lump in my chest when the blond finally finished bandaging me. He rested his arms on my thighs and looked up at me patiently. What do I say..

My gaze flickered down to Tsukki's bandaged nose, then the dark bruises on his neck and forehead and temple where I'd choked and punched him. Ah, more guilt.

"J-Junto." I whispered, hesitantly flicking my eyes back to Tsukki's confused stare.

A small silence as we took in each other's views.

"..Junto..?" The beaten boy questioned me softly, rubbing his thumbs along my thigh as he did so. "I... who's that?" He raised one of his eyebrows, stretching a light bruise along with it.

"Before I.. jumped..." my small voice cracked through the tension and I, out of impulse, reached my arms up to fiddle with the promise ring on my right hand—sliding it off, then on, then off... "someone—a man—a gross man asked me to have tea...and, you know, talk about.. it... like, because we were both gonna jump... you know..."

I grimaced at the sound of my frail voice and jumbled up sentence.
It's painfully obvious that I'm beating around the bush right now—avoiding the elephant in the room of these deep, fresh scars along my palm and wrist.

Tsukki just watched me intensely, I could feel the way his body stayed completely still resting on my knees and thighs.

"And he.. turned out to be a creep..." the ring I fidgeted with was now completely removed from my ring finger. "..well, not really 'turned out to be' I already knew.. he was...off.." my fingers pressed against each other as I moved that cold ring back down my finger.

"...did he..." Tsukki trailed off.

I nodded my head and slowly shifted my gaze to the blonds, checking his emotions and thoughts and fears. He looked skittish and nauseated and bitter. Then I realized he's probably thinking of the absolute worst.

So I quickly shook my head, catching Tsukki's attention. "N-no, no, we didn't—that's how I got.." Tsukki furrowed his eyebrows at my sudden outburst while I stopped fiddling to raise up my damaged hand. "That's how I got these scars... it was self defense.. we didn't— he didn't.."

"Did you kill him..?"

I stiffened up from under Tsukki's concentrated stare and his stagnant body pressing into my thighs and knees, pressuring me to spill out every single gruesome detail of that traumatic moment. My raised arm gradually lowered back into my lap.

Then I nodded slowly. "...with a glass.. I smashed it.. into his head.. over and over again..."

As I said the words, my eyes found themselves shut, listening to the hitch in Tsukki's breath and the skid of his fingers flinching against my leg. I couldn't dare open them to see his aghast expression—having the knowledge that I'd ended another persons life so easily... it would probably tarnish my image forever—at least more than it already was.