Being the girl in disguise (ON HOLD)

Chapter Fourteen

Wow, being like this did really suck. I've been in bed for the past two days and faked sick to my parents so they wouldn't let me go to school.

This is exactly how you can imagine when a girl goes through a break up.

Messy hair, messed up face, red nose, puffy eyes that you can mistaken it as a swell from a punch, a trash can full of tissue and all those!

I was a mess, a messed up mess.

Why does this have to happen to me? Twice for that matter. These emotions that I have been feeling was about to eat me up.

Every single time I remember one memory? I just lose it and burst out crying. It hurts too much.

I sighed deeply, sobbing a bit, and got off the bed slowly. My legs felt all wobbly since I barely got out of bed.

This was me..when me and Seth broke up months ago. The feeling of pain just...hurts.

I angrily punched my pillow and stormed in the bathroom, rummaging the cabinets for something I haven't used before.

After about 5 minutes, my hand landed on a small pink box that had "Don'tevertouch" written across it.

My hand was practically shaking as my fingers touched the cold metal box. I closed my eyes, slowly opening it. Revealing a sharp blade along with bandages, tissues, etc.

After the breakup with Seth, I used to cut because of what depression did to me. I was terrified at first, but after, it felt good and I forgot about the bad things that had happened to me. No one knew at all.

Now you think my life is so perfect?

Am I really gonna do this?

I lifted the blade slowly placing it on my wrist. My heart was pounding like crazy, and bead of sweat were dripping down in the side of my cheek.

I cut one line which made me inhale a sharp breath because of the pain.

one, two, three, four, five. Five lines were now present on my left wrist.

Blood were dripping on the floor, and my wrist was covered of red, thick blood. Tears managed to escape from my eyes, I kept sobbing and crying but made sure I wasn't loud.

Clearly, I wasn't me anymore. This was a different Angel. Like the one who was vulnerable, lost, depressed and messed up.

I cleaned the floor, washed my bloody wrist and wrapped a plaster cloth on my wrist. Right now, it didn't hurt anymore.

I washed my face and fixed myself to make me at least presentable. Deciding to get out of this place of isolation, so called my room.

I should stop torturing myself like this so decided to at least go out and cheer myself a bit.

Looking around my closet, I chose to wear black ripped jeans, white tank top, with black and hot pink plaid shirt with rolled up sleeves. As for my shoes, a Nike airmax shoes which is colored black and pink.

I just feel like wearing black today. It matches my mood.

I let my hair down wavy, put slight make up to make my face look fresh, added lip tint onto my lips, and a few accessories. Also a dark blue satchel bag.

As I left the house, I decided to go to Starbucks and get myself a frap. Because I so need it right now. The big Starbucks sign came into view and could already smell the aroma of delicious coffee and other desserts they had.

Holding the cold handle, and opened the big glass door; the coldness of the aircon welcomed me and I sighed in relief as soon as the cold air hit me.

Thank the heavens that it wasn't packed today. There were actually less people which made the place look more comfy and relaxing. but... you know, crap happens most of the time. Across the table from where I was sitting, sat Nate, Lance and Seth. Okay wow, this is just great don't you think? (note the sarcasm) It would be too obvious if I would stand up and leave. so decided to just pretend to use my phone while covering half of my face using my hair.

25 minutes has actually passed by and the boys were still talking about who knows what. My eyes drifted to Lance, laughing which made his dimples show. I miss him... my heart clenched and the memories came flooding back, but I knew how to control it now.

I was thankful that they didn't see or even notice me.

Got like 95% chance of sneaking out.

"Angel? Didn't see you here." Nate's voice said.

and that 95% chance has gone down to 0%. How lovely.

I slowly lifted my head, and flipped my hair with a fake grin on my lips. "Um, oh uh, hey Nate. Didn't see you there..too."

His eyes traveled down to my latte cup.. wait no.. he was staring down at my arm with the big bandage! crap, I complete forgot about it! My eyes widened a little and I quickly hid it on my lap.

He rose one eyebrow and narrowing his eyes a little at me now, hiding arm. "What happened to your arm?" and as if on cue, Lance and Seth were behind Nate. They obviously thought I was some chick that Nate flirted with because I heard Seth saying I was hot. but when they arrived to my table, they both shut up quickly and shocked written in their pathetic faces. Lance looked at me, with all those emotions he has been showing me and it hurt to see! I'm trying to not let it affect me.

"Oh, shoot! Have to go now. Forgot to feed my dog." I said, quickly standing up making my way out.

But was stopped by someone pulling me by my wrist. I hissed in the awful pain the shot up my body, making my flinch.

"Nate, I told you I'm fi--" I started to say but was cut off by the person who I'm not good terms with. Lance.

"What happened to your arm?" He repeated Nate's question.

"and you don't have a dog, Angel. cut with the lies. Just tell us."

Okay, my cover was completely blown up.

A dog? Really, Angel? I swear you're getting more stupid as minutes pass by. My stupid brain answered me.

"Why do you care anyway, Lance? Last time I checked, you stopped caring when you cheated with me!" I snapped as I pulled my arm away, making it MORE worse. That was the worst idea ever. Maybe my brain was right after all...

"Just leave me alone." I finally said, running away from the coffee shop. I was now crying like a deep shiz. What is wrong with me? I'm turning into a complete depressed, emotional wreck.

Eventually, that's life. and that's how it's ALWAYS going to be. Full of drama, problems, obstacles and other things you have to experience. It's life. and you just have to live with it.

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Yay, I updated! hahaha. that's because I didn't get a writer's block. :D I hope you guys like this chap! First chapter of 2015. ;) Happy New Year guys!!!

- Skyla xox