Impure; The Untouchable Saga

Chapter 20 (fully edited) 1708

When I returned to my dad's with Kyle, I went to my mom's. I felt so alone because nobody was there. I missed my mother. I was in the house upstairs in my room and completely forgot about my homework, and I haven't been to school since my father did that embarrassing act in public. I was supposed to return to school yesterday, but I wasn't feeling it. I didn't want to go because I was hungover. I totally regretted it. I came home, and Lee was home. I went to see him. I tried to tell him I was back home but had an awesome short vacation at my father's house. I tried to tell him that I was dating somebody else, but for some reason, the words wouldn't come out of my mouth, no matter how hard I tried. I needed to tell him but I couldn't, so I pulled out my phone and showed him Kyle. He didn't even seem surprised.

"Kylie, you know I know you better than anyone else right?"

"I guess."

"I could tell something was going on the minute you stepped in the door; you had a different vibe because you actually seemed happy. You have no idea how happy I am that you are happy. I love you, but every time something gets in the way. So either I have to wait my turn for the right time or find somebody else and move on."

"I'm sorry Lee."

"I snooze; I lose. This is all my fault" Lee turned away and went inside.

I didn't know what to say or do. I didn't know where the boundaries were. I really needed to help Lee, but I needed to be loyal to Kyle. I wasn't going to stoop down to Lee's level of not being concerned. I did text him, but with normal friendzone text, I received no response. I wanted to make sure he was okay. So I went outside, grabbed the basketball sitting in the driveway, and started to play basketball, hoping he would come outside. So I started shooting, and I missed the basket a lot. It's hard to concentrate when you're stressed, not to mention I had red itchy bumps from sweating. I wouldn't go inside even if it started raining. The thunder started rolling in, and I saw Lee peering at me from a window. He was watching me play basketball. He heard the thunder getting closer at which point he came outside.

"Kylie, do you not care about your health at all?"

"If you aren't going to listen to me, I don't, no!" I was acting all stubborn.

"Kylie, I'm not a good influence on your life," he started to laugh, almost upsettingly.

"I don't care; I want to be in your life" I looked him in the eyes. I didn't know what I was doing. I moved on with Kyle but still loved Lee. I was right in the middle of a love triangle I created. I didn't like going into the unknown with Kyle, and I would have loved being in the warm embrace of Lee, which was wrong because I belonged to Kyle.

"Kylie, I think that Kyle is a better fit for you. I can't deal with this right now. You need to go inside and be safe. I promised to protect you and tell you to protect yourself. If not from Kyle, then me."

I went into my house just in the nick of time before it started raining. I just wanted to feel the water on my body, even if it meant I would die. I just longed for that feeling. I knew I couldn't do it now, but one day I was going to touch water no matter what; it could be a year or fifty; who knew? But that was my goal, to touch the water before I died.

I took that as my destiny. I was letting the disease define me; I was done hiding, proving to everybody that I was just some girl who hid from society. I wanted to return to normal school and be a normal kid; even if I weren't, I would pretend I was. I wanted to tell the truth, and more than anything I wanted to feel the full force of love, even if it was difficult and painful.

I started throwing all my clothes out of my dresser so that my room looked like a hurricane. I took scissors and cut off all of my long sleeves, took my pants and turned them into shorts, and moisturized my skin. I called my dad. It was my day of reckoning with myself.