Learning to Heal

Chapter 3

Juliette stared out the window of her room, a blank expression coating her face. It had been a few days since her mom had yelled at her about the beauty pageant and rodeo in Amarillo and since then she hadn't been back downstairs. No amount of coaxing from her dad and yelling from her mom could make her leave her bed, so finally they had resorted to bringing meals up. Suddenly the light footsteps on the stairs let Juliette know that her mom was coming up, and she steeled herself for the next encounter with her.

"Becky called. She was wonderin if y'all can hang out this weekend. I told her of course. You've got to get out of here." Her mom let herself into the room without asking and without preamble started talking. Julie sighed and shook her head.

"I'm not going mom." Her mother had stooped to pick up a dirty shirt from the floor, but straightened quickly with her hands on her hips. Her bright green eyes blazed with fire, accented by her flaming red hair that, as usual, fell perfectly curled down her back.

"Juliette I won't stand for this anymore. You have done enough mopin about here and you need to get out of your room and see your friends!" Anger made Vivian's voice rise in pitch and Julie winced.

"I can't stand to go with them again when Alexis isn't there." Her mom sighed and for a minute, Julie thought that she would finally have some sympathy. However, Vivian Harper was not built for sympathy, nor had she ever been meant to be a mother. She still hadn't quite grasped it after all these years and tended to speak with her pride rather than softness to comfort her children.

"Oh good grief Juliette! I know you miss Alexis but you can't let the rest of your friends go. You've formed important connections over the years and you can't let them go now. Remember Becky's mom won her counties beauty pageant too and Becky is on her way to being the next winner. You could learn a lot.." Vivian trailed off at the sight of her daughter's thunderous face.

"Really mother?" Julie let her disgust show in her words and her mom had the good grace to look slightly ashamed.

"Well of course I mean that you need friends in your life too Julie. You can't hide up here forever and you can't cut everyone out of your life. You need others and it isn't healthy to isolate yourself even after something like that happens. In fact you need others more." Softness now shown out of Vivian's eyes but the seed of anger had been planted in Julie.

"Oh why can't you just leave me alone mom! Can't you see that I can't handle living without Alexis? Can't you see I'd rather die?" Her words drained the softness out of her mother's eyes and a sharp cold light gleamed in them instead.

"Oh stop that. I won't have any child of mine talking like that. Now you will get up and you will get dressed and clean up. You will go out this weekend with your friends whether you like it or not. While you are at it you will clean this room and put all your trophies back up. I can't understand why someone as successful as you would let something like this ruin you! Just because Alexis died doesn't mean you have to get rid of all your trophies and achievements too!" Her mother's tone was exasperated, but Julie hardly noticed.

"In case you never knew, most of those trophies were Alexis' too. We won them together." She said bitingly and turned her back on her mom.

"Really? And what of the barrel racing, pole bending, beauty pageant and rodeo queen awards you've gotten? I suppose Alexis won those too?" Vivian huffed her disgust through her nose. "I never understood your friendship with that girl, and I can't say I ever will. You do realize that she was poor, a nobody, and really not the best influence to have around." As the words escaped her lips, Vivian seemed to realize she had said the wrong thing and watched as her daughter lunged up off her bed to stand in front of her, rage distorting ever feature.

"Alexis understood me. She understood that I didn't necessarily want to be the perfect person everyone thought I was! She understood how you controlled every inch of my life to the friends I had, down the the calories I ate when I was getting too chubby. She was kind and she was the best rider I have ever known. If you ever talk about my best friend like that again, I swear I'll leave this house and never darken the doors again." With those last few words she pushed her mother out the door, slamming it in her face before sinking down to her knees and sobbing. She had known of course that her mother hadn't really approved of Alexis but she had never imagined her mother would actually be that cruel.

"Julie I'm sorry. I didn't think. Please let me talk to you." She could hear her mother's pleads from outside the door, but ignored them. Her mom was the best mother she knew how to be, and it wasn't her fault that that didn't say much. She was used to getting her own way and was treated like a princess her whole life. She strove for perfection and then pushed her ideas of perfection onto Julie and her older brother Mark. Mark got away with a lot more since he was a boy, but Julie was expected to win every beauty pageant and when she had shown a bigger interest in rodeos, her mother wasn't satisfied unless she won rodeo queen, which admittingly she usually did. Julie suddenly wanted a piece of Alexis and rifled under her bed to find the box in which she had stuffed most of her room decoration in.

"Oh why can't you still be here?" She whispered as she pulled out picture after picture featuring her and her best friend. Alexis Duke had strikingly black hair and dark eyes. She had been part Native American, and she looked it with her angular face, tan skin and dark features. Julie looked at the picture in her hands in which the two girls had their arms looped around each other, grinning and holding yet another belt buckle. They couldn't have been more different in both looks and attitudes where Julie was red haired and fair and Alexis was dark. Alexis had been a wild spirit where as Juliette had been cultured, groomed, careful and always perfect. She would have been a downright snob like some of their other friends if it wasn't for Alexis.

"How can I win without you?" Continuing through the box, through the many pictures of their victories, and rifling through the many medals, awards and belt buckles she had won, the thought ran around and around Julie's mind. They had been a bombshell team roping team, rarely ever loosing. They knew exactly what the other was going to do, and exactly when they had to step into their parts. They had worked like a well oiled machine together. As Julie went through picture after picture of her old life, a life where only rodeo, boys, beauty pageants and being popular mattered, she grew angrier and angrier. She had been spoiled, a drama queen and looking at the pictures of her and her friends she realized that they had been too. Now, at 19 years old, she had lost the only person in her life who had known that it wasn't necessary to be perfect. The agony of loosing Alexis rose afresh and she quickly slammed the lid to the box and shoved it under the bed, not being able to stand looking at it anymore.

*****

Okay so I genuinely don't know how I feel about this chapter. It is mainly a filler, to get you all caught up on what Julie is like and what Alexis was like. I feel like it is close to a repeat of what the first chapter was, but also this is valuable information that you guys need to know to set the scene of the story better! I promise that after this chapter the book will start rolling along more, with not so much filler chapters and more action! I hope you guys are still enjoying this book thus far! Thanks for reading! ~S.