Learning to Heal

Chapter 11

Somehow the weeks dragged by and Juliette realized with a jolt that it had been almost seven months since Alexis had died. Somehow everyone around her seemed to be doing fine, going about their daily life as if nothing had ever happened. Mark had moved to Dallas about a month ago to study to become a veterinarian. Everyone thought that Juliette was doing better, but she knew the truth. She went about her days in a numb daze, doing her chores methodically, and the only times she wasn't numb was when she was angry. She didn't quite understand why she was so angry all the time, but ignored it because it was much easier than confronting it. She also realized that Cole had been working for her family for over three months. She had very little to do with him, except for the brief moments when he said something to her and she snapped back at him. He left almost every weekend and didn't come back until late Monday afternoons. Sometimes the thought crossed her mind to wonder where he went, but most of the time she didn't even notice he was gone. 

"Good morning Juliette! I thought we could go shopping today. Just something to get you out of the house?" Julie looked up at her mother from where she was bent over her cereal. Vivian had come down the hall in a cloud of perfume and make-up and looked flawless. Juliette sighed internally and shook her head.

"No thanks mom. I'm going to help in the barn." Her own voice sounded brittle to her own ears and she didn't miss the concerned glances her parents shot each other. Cole pretended to ignore them all completely while he drank his coffee. Julie felt the familiar anger burn inside of her at the glances her parents shot each other. As if her mom ever cared about how she felt. She ignored the anger and got up to put her half empty bowl in the sink.

"Why couldn't I have had a normal girl who liked to do girly things? I swear most of your life you've acted more like a boy than your brother has." Julie rolled her eyes at her mother's dramatic tone.

"You know that isn't true. I've done pageants for most of my life mom." 

"But only because I asked you too. You would have preferred to rodeo all the time and help your dad outside. Please come shopping with me Julie? Your wardrobe could use an update." Vivian's tone was softer than it normally was, but Julie didn't notice. 

"No mom. I hate shopping and you know that." The truth was, was that she loved shopping when it wasn't with her mother. She loved shopping when it was with Alexis because they had had the same taste and had had so much fun picking out clothes for the other to try on. Now shopping was just one more thing that reminded her of Alexis. She pushed out the door and headed for the barn. She had begun helping with the horses again, but did so robotically. She put no feelings behind her work and ignored Trigger all together. She was mucking out stalls with a vengeance when she heard someone come up behind her. 

"You should go with her." She spun around to find Cole leaning over the stall door. For a minute she stopped and realized for almost the first time how attractive he really was. His black hair was curling out from under the worn baseball cap he was wearing and his warm, brown eyes seemed to glow with something she couldn't name. He had to be over 6 feet tall and was hardened with lean muscle everywhere on his body. For a minute she was distracted but quickly remembered who she was looking at and what he had said. 

"Shopping with my mom is like torture. She only asked because she wants to see me miserable." She replied, turning around and continuing to muck the stalls.

"You can't actually believe that." Cole's voice made her stop but she didn't turn around.

"Believe what?" 

"That your mom wants to see you miserable. She loves you, despite the faults she might have. She's worried about you too. I saw the disappointment in her face when you said no. You should go with her. Spend some one on one time with her. Something tells me that you haven't done anything like that in a long while." He spoke softly, but Juliette felt her anger bubble up out of control again. How dare he talk to her like he knew her, knew her mother, and knew what each of them felt.