Manifestation

Focus

November 3 2024

"Yes, Milly, the designs are ready to go!" I tell my assistant after I spent 3 hours scrutinizing each design and cut of the garment sketches. It's been a month working at Dior already and honestly, time just flew. There were days I felt so claustrophobic; I just wanted my way out and do something on my own. It's really challenging and discouraging when you have to convince everyone with your creativity - each and everything is seen under the microscope and there are a million questions to answer - "Will the customers like this?" "Is this what the market needs?" "Is this worthy of being produced?" "What is the cost to profit ratio?" "How are we going to market this?" The list is endless.

I would sometimes spend the entire night just envisioning a design only for it to be flat-on rejected by the creative director the next morning. Some of my best designs, well in my head at least, were discarded as if they were nothing and oh boy did it hurt. Some of them are approved, yes, but then again, I feel I'm giving away a part of my creativity, a part of who I am to a brand and face that's not me and I'll never get the credit I deserve for it.

I feel a growing urge for the world to see who I am and what I'm capable of. I want my designs to be my identity. I sometimes feel I'm just too ambitious.

The clock hits 5 PM and I exit my cabinet to leave the office. I have to head back home and film a video for my YouTube channel. I recently hit a million subscribers and I have one of the most amazing audience ever, I have to film a video to thank them and share some updates about my life. Honestly, I have put PR and YouTube to a hold since starting at Dior, I just never found the time to do them. I need to get back to them again and today is the day.

I return back home, take a steaming shower, get ready and face the camera. "Hello my lovelies!" I say to the camera. Oh how much I missed this!