I study rainbows

The ending

Surprise chapter!! This is just a thank you chapter for you all. This "summer" has been a crazy one, and I'm glad to say that I've been able to spend almost half of it with you all! You are all so amazing, and you check in on me and you support me which is all I ask. In return you all ask me to write, so this one is for you all!

*BTW* I start school tomorrow, if anyone is with me, you can get through this school year you got this baby!

xoxoxoxo, Steph :)

Carlos POV:

As he speaks, it feels like my chest is caving in on me. At first I think I was just over reacting to what he's telling me, but then I can't move my body or speak at all. Even though I know I can't feel anything I try to squeeze his hand but everytime I do, it's like my grip loosened even more than before. I eventually stop, feeling myself slip into a black pit, my eyes closing..

The next time I open my eyes I'm in a completely different place, I look around at the vibrant tree's and the beautiful  colors  that are all around me but I stop when I see a figure coming my way..

I see Emily walking towards me crying, I reach out to her surprised I was able to move my body now. I am so happy to see her, but how am I doing it? Unless I'm dead too? I reach out trying to feel my arms but I can't. Everytime I did, it felt like I was touching the air. I put my arms down not being able to look at them anymore. 

Shit! How did this happen? I thought I just blacked out or something, I didn't think I was going to die. If I would have known, I would have fought harder to keep my eyes open, I can't leave TK. But I want to be with my sister again, she is my best friend and these almost six years have been hell without her. TK does take away some of the pain though, but sometimes it's not enough...I just wish I could have them both.

I start walking to Emily again, I rub her back or think I am atleast as she cries. What's wrong Em?

"You aren't supposed to be here Carlos! And you know that so WHY ARE YOU?"

I looked at her taken aback at how furious she was with me, It's not like I choose to be here, I didn't kill myself intentionally! I take my hand off of her back since she stands up in front of me now.

"Why Carlos?" Her red eyes cut me deep, reminding me of my last moments with TK talking about that asshole Alex. I can't believe that was the last thing we talked about! I should have told him I loved him more and told him how strong he was as well. I don't know how this is going to work, I love them both but it's not like I have a choice. I can't go back to him even if I wanted to.

"I think I went into a lucid dream and then I went into a stroke because I was stressing my body out trying to move while I was in the lucid dream. I might be wrong, but I'm pretty sure that's how I passed."

"Do you even care?"

I nod looking at the ground beneath the both of us, the grass was a neon green here. I assumed we were in heaven since Emily was here and she was too pure to have gone anywhere else. I don't know how I made it up here though. I thought with me being gay and all, I would for sure be in hell right now , but look at me. My bare feet on this beautiful grass, it feels like silk instead of the prickly grass that was back on earth.

"You can't be here Carlos. I love you to death and you know that but we both know it's not your time yet. We all have to go someday but your day is not today Javier! Don't fight me on this either.. I just want the best for you and TK.."