In Wilderness Found

Chapter 15: Walls Going Up

Bacon is a delicacy and the smell of it nearly always signals a celebration. 

At least that’s what Madison thinks as she lies snugly beneath the quilts of Ellis’ bed. His side has become cold, and as the smell of breakfast wafts underneath the bedroom door she knows exactly where he is. 

Definitely a cause for celebration, she thinks.

She forces herself up from the warm blankets to pull on a cotton dress. In an attempt to tame the disheveled red hair covering her head, she pulls it into a loose bun. 

When she emerges from the bedroom, Madison finds Ellis in the precise spot she’d imagined him; he is facing the cast iron stove, scrambling eggs and cooking bacon in a skillet. His white sleep shirt hangs loosely on his shoulders and he is barefoot against the cabin’s wooden floor. Gal lounges on a rug close by.

The table has been cleared of last night’s mostly uneaten supper, and Madison’s stomach growls. The hardwood creaks under her step as she enters the kitchen and Ellis turns around.

“Morning,” he gives her one of his barely-there grins before facing the stove again.

“Morning.” She takes him completely by surprise by wrapping her arms around him from behind in a hug. 

He stills for a moment before his face splits into a smile he cannot contain. She cannot see it, though.

“Breakfast, huh?” She asks, her cheek still pressed firmly between his shoulder blades. She suddenly feels a tad selfconscious at her open affection, and she loosens her grip on him.

“Mhm. Figured you were hungry. I had some bacon in the cellar that needed used.” Ellis continues to stir the eggs while Madison's arms slip away from around him.

“Thanks,” she breathes as she moves to sit at the table. 

He feels her absence like a hole in his heart, similar to the uneasy sensation he experienced when he left her in the bed alone this morning. 

“What are you up to today?” She asks as Ellis plates their breakfast. He pours a steaming cup of black coffee from the metal perculator on the stove and passes it to her. Coffee is something he rarely treats himself to, but it feels to him like they have something to celebrate this morning. 

“There’s a cattle sale this afternoon. I probably need to take some of mine down.” He nearly winces as he thinks about leaving her alone here while he goes to town. 

Madison nods absentmindedly as she brings a slice of bacon to her lips.

Did last night change anything? Should she still be coming up with a plan to leave? Definitely, she thinks to herself. She might have fallen for this quiet man quicker than what seemed possible, but she was still a married woman - a married woman who might end up hurt or worse if her husband ever found her.

Ellis senses her thoughtful mood and eats his breakfast silently. The celebratory mood seems to be shifting somewhere darker. Maybe she regrets what happened between us last night. After the thought crosses his mind, the guilt of it begins eating him from the inside out.

“I’m sorry,” he blurts out louder than he means to. “About last night,” he clarifies when Madison’s confused green eyes go wide.

She lets out a cheerful laugh that both baffles Ellis and mesmerizes him. “Why are you apologizing?” She wants to know. 

His brow furrows. “I - I don’t know.”

She laughs again. “Don’t be sorry. You didn’t do anything wrong, Ellis.”

His name on her lips makes his chest constrict. She reaches a hand out and places it on top of his on the table, but he’s still confused by her contemplative behavior this morning.

Madison is only too aware that Ellis never returned her declaration of love last night. He had told her, “I don’t want to be alone anymore,” which in the moment was enough for her, but in the morning light she can see the stark difference of the two sentiments. 

He is a recluse used to living a life of solitude. She can’t hardly blame him for getting close to her when she is the only one who has occupied his presence for so long. While she is falling madly for his gentle demeanor and benevolent character, he is just enjoying her company. With the situation she's in, that's just not enough.

She lets out a sigh. “Can you do me a favor while you’re in town? Check on the prices of horses for me?”

Ellis nods, but a panic is beginning to rise inside him and he fights the urge to grab her hand and never let go. She can’t possibly still be thinking of leaving.

He can clearly see the walls going up behind her usually warm eyes, and his heart feels like it might sputter to a complete stop. She had all but shouted that she loved him last night, and he thought his actions had done the same, so how could she possibly still be thinking of leaving? 

Ellis can’t make himself speak or move as she pulls her hand off of his and gathers their empty breakfast plates for the wash.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Ellis watches the cattle in town. He had brought a few of his own down the mountain for the cattle sale, which he is now using as a distraction from his spiraling thoughts. He eyes the animals being brought in with various farmers from around the area.

“Howdy,” Fred Simonds takes a seat on the wooden bench next to him and shoots him a near toothless smile. His overalls are soil-stained and his face appears so gritty with dirt that it looks as if it’s never been washed.

Ellis returns his greeting with a nod. “Fred.”

“Your crops been doing alright?” Fred questions, without giving thought to Ellis’ uncomfortable look at his small talk. Ellis is getting better at it, thanks to Madison, so he tries to play along.

“They have. Yours?”

Fred nods. “The deer keep eating my corn, though. Pesky bastards.”

Ellis is quiet for a moment before Fred asks, “Hey, have you heard from that Daniel Williams? I need him to get me my new hammer, but that lazy knucklehead hasn’t got back to me.” The insult is lighthearted and Fred grins as he says it. 

Ellis’ brows furrow as he remembers visiting the blacksmith’s house a few days ago. “You know, I haven’t,” he answers.

“Might have to make a trip to see the new fella. The one from Kentucky? I hear a few folks have already ordered some tools off of him,” Fred contemplates.

Daniel had never been unreliable. It was why everyone used him for their metal working, and it was why Ellis considers the new blacksmith in town to be a fool, even if he doesn't know him. Well, maybe he’s not so much of a fool if Daniel is going to be a slackard these days, he thinks.

The peculiar situation concerning Daniel’s sudden absence should have piqued Ellis’ curiosity, but he is too preoccupied with thoughts of Madison to think into it further.

He leaves the sale with the same amount of cattle as he came with and makes his way back up the mountain. He can’t bring himself to face Madison just yet, though. 

Ellis feels a little guilty about it, but he had asked around for directions to the Wright household. As soon as his cattle are inside the pasture gate, he heads back down his property in search of the new blacksmith, not even bothering to go inside the cabin.