Again

ONE

Again - part 1

Jungkook was sitting beside me, texting someone as he slowly sipped on his coffee.

I was doing my work silently as I looked at the lifeless screen of my laptop filled with bullshit.

My body was leaning towards doing work, but my thoughts were occupied by something else.

This thought had been in my mind for a while, I felt like me and jungkook were growing apart, I don't even know why it was happening, but the passion, the interest, the happy times were gone.

We don't even talk to each other anymore, just meaningless things like 'what do you want for dinner and stuff' I tried to shift my concentration to the screen, hoping to do some work, but it was not working what so ever.

I decided to give up and closed my laptop and tidied the couch up. After rearranging everything properly, I decided that it was best to just tell him straight up, better now than never.

As I walked out of my room, a bad feeling caught my stomach but I decided on something, so I should do it.

I sighed as I grabbed a chair and sat in front of the man who was now texting another person sighing.

" Jungkook, I think- we should, we should talk-"  I was a little nervous but I took a deep breath.

He frowned and looked at me, he put his phone down immediately, it was as if he knew that I was serious by my expression.

" What happened y/n?" That might not have meant much to him, but it confirmed my suspicions, we fell out of love. I sighed and took his hand.

" Jungkook we-, Don't you feel that we are not the same anymore?" I tried to start slow.

" I-, yeah, we have been acting different" he said as he sat up straight.

" No, that's not what I mean-" I sighed before continuing.

" It's just, I feel like we are not in love anymore-" I said and looked into his eyes to see how he felt when he heard me saying this.

" Y/n, I-" he was hesitating, as if he was afraid to hurt me.

" It's okay jungkook, be honest with me. I would prefer it when you are honest" I gave him a sad smile.

" To be honest, I wanted to talk about this. I'm really sorry y/n, but I really don't feel it anymore, it's just- I dont know why or how, but I fell out of love, I still care for you" he stopped himself from saying anything more, it looked like he was disappointed in himself.

" It's okay jungkook, I feel that way too, I know we both care a lot for each other, we do, but we just dont have the passion, the excitement, I'm sorry, I really am sorry kook" I said, barely above a whisper.

" It's o-okay, this feels really weird. What do you think we should do?" he asked, I knew what I was gonna say was harsh but I just said it.

" Let's break up jungkook. We know that you deserve better. We aren't in love anymore, let's stop this endless seesaw game. Find someone who loves you truly, and dont blame yourself for not feeling something you dont, I understand that people change-"  I kept blabbering.

" Y/n I-" jungkook was interrupted by me.

" It's okay jungkook, I know, but I'm sorry I changed, I promised you, but I-, well what's done is done. Let's try to move on okay? Let's end this lifeless relationship." I smiled reassuring him. He nodded silently and hugged me tightly.

" C-can, I know it's selfish, but can we still be friends?" he hesitated.

" mhm" I kissed his cheek and smiled.

I got up and walked to my room and started packing my stuff, wanting to move out as quickly as I could back home.

" Y/n, it's snowing badly, if you wanna leave, leave tomorrow okay?" jungkook was at my door, smiling a little.

I sighed as I looked outside and saw the snow fall, I just nodded and sat on the bed. Not knowing what to do with the awkwardness.

" You know what jungkook? On second thought, let me just go okay?" I asked him feeling weird.

" If it feels awkward, then go, I can't stop you, can I?" he sighed as he left the door.

" mmh" I grabbed my suitcase and changed into a warm outfit to leave. I sighed as I cleaned the bed and tidied up the vanity.

I got reminded of the times when I first moved in, he wouldn't even leave me alone for one second, and we used to do it everywhere, I just smiled to myself and walked to the living room.

Jungkook looked at me and stood up, putting his phone down on the couch, I took a good look at him, his long hair, and the black sweatshirt which he never hot rid of, this boy wasn't gonna change being a baby.

He enveloped me in a tight hug and kissed my forehead and smiled into the hug. I inhaled his scent one last time and let ho of him.

" find someone that treats you well kook, I will always care for you, be happy kook" I touched his chin and smiled.

" Mmh, you find yourself a handsome man that will treat you like a queen that you are" he patted my head lovingly as I giggled, being friends with him is gonna be easy.

And then it hit me, the snow, and the feeling of regret, but I walked away mad at myself for doing this, for giving up.

Jungkook p.o.v

As she walked away, a familiar wanting to stop her formed in my heart. I wanted so badly to hold her back and never let her leave my bed, I sighed as I laid in my bed and closed my eyes, thinking of a way to get her.

I have to make her fall in love with me. Again.