Love Without End

Broken things stay broken

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Cristina woke up to the sound of an alarm and a crying child.

"Ugh..." she mumbled as she sat up, her eyes still closed. She looked outside to the fogginess around the mountain. Since she wasn't going to be there for long, she stayed in her very own room at Meredith and Derek's house. She was going to stay there until her return to Switzerland. 

After leaving the hospital the night before, she could've sworn she saw Owen's truck out back behind Derek's trailer. A feeling roamed about her, his presence— perhaps. No, he nor his truck should have been there. He had a home; a family. That's where he would be. She was in Meredith's home. Her family wasn't her own. 

She hadn't a clue when she would leave for Zurich again. All she knew was that she couldn't be around Owen for too long. She planned on staying a while but after seeing him, she wasn't sure she could. Crazy, wasn't it? Flying the long distance back to the place you were once so happy, just to leave two days after your arrival. The reality was, she could not bear having him so close, but yet so extremely far. 

The fact she merely laid her eyes on him for a split second and her heart skipped a beat scared her to death. She managed not to think about her relationship with him too much during the day. She just couldn't keep his memory out of her head at night, when there was nothing to take her mind off of him.

Not being able to run her hands through his messy hair. Not being able to lay her head down on his bare chest for comfort. Not even just watch as he climbed up the stairs too quickly just to plant a kiss on her lips and teasingly exclaim the phrase 'honey, I'm home!'. They'd laugh about it afterwards as she ate cereal and he devoured his Shake Shack burger.

Some part of her refused to forget him. More like every part of her, except her dignity. She couldn't be in Seattle— not where at any given moment with the touch of his hand, she would give in and let him hurt Amelia, which was exactly what she didn't want. She was terribly aware of the power both she and Owen had over each other. 

She focused again on the ringing alarm. She leaned over to the night stand, mashing down on the button. The crying stopped once she heard Meredith tend to little Bailey. Cristina sighed as she stood up and off of the bed. She took a moment to stare out through the window, watching as the fog was whisked away by the heat of the morning sun.

She got ready within a few minutes after taking a shower. She couldn't help but think of what she would do when she had to go back to Zurich. It killed her to leave. She didn't want to do it anymore, but she knew she had a hospital to take care of. How many mistakes could she have avoided to get to where she was at? How could she  have let it get to this point. Her temples ached as she patted the smallest bit of concealer over the dark circles beneath her eyes.

In the silence, there was a calming aura surrounding her. A thought that came to her, though it sounded weird once she said it aloud. "Shane." She breathed, looking herself in the mirror. She trained her very own protégé. And in this moment she recalled no one other than Craig Thomas. And even though her wandering idea was absurd— she couldn't help but feel satisfaction, knowing she did just as Doctor Thomas had once told her.

She walked, practically floated, to the living room with a small smile plastered on her lips, catching a glimpse of the door. She remembered every single second she spent with him; and every second after.

She shook the memories off and helped Meredith get the kids ready for school.

_______________

Owen had gone home the night before. Something he hadn't done for some time, other than when he dropped Leo off with Amelia. They communicated by text, but they never said a single word as they passed each other in the halls of the hospital. Their relationship, overall, had begun to dwindle little by little over the past few months.