Loving Calum

#3 Ashton's

when you pulled up on ashton's driveway, you were unsure of what to do. was it easier to stay and get this over with, or go to michael's and crash there instead? you knew michael wouldn't mind but you thought it was better to apologize to ashton. you sat in the car for a couple of minutes and contemplated what you were gonna do and say. when you were ready, you walked to the front door and, as you were about to knock, the door swung open. 'you were sat in that car for a while' ashton said. 

'yea well i was thinking about how i could apologize. can i come in?'

'sure. sorry it's a mess, i was unpacking some stuff.' he replied.

'ha, calum hasn't even started' you said in a tone that sounded mean or rude and ashton glanced at you with a confused look. 'is everything ok?' he asked, again.

'no, ashton i want to apologize first, please.' he nodded.'i'm sorry i spoke to you horribly. it was really selfish of me and if we could talk now, i promise i won't do it again and i'll be calm and not yell.'

'it's ok, y/n. i was just kinda worried, that's all. do you wanna talk about whatever's bothering you?'

'yes please.' you replied and he sent you a small smile, while sitting on the leather sofa, urging you to go on. 'when calum came home today he hardly talked to me, let alone even acknowledge i was there. he's pushing me away, ashton, and i don't fucking know why. you know the last few months have been hard on us but i feel like i'm the only one trying!'

'calum seemed normal on tour, y/n. he's probably just really tired, hun. It's probably nothing to worry about. i think-'

you broke down in tears.

'hey hey hey! don't cry!'

Ashton waited until you had calmed down a bit to ask you: 'is it really that bad?' you just nodded, he knew you didn't cry often, especially in front of others, proving that the situation was awful.

'he basically told me to leave and he seemed so angry, it was kind of scary. i don't know what to do, ashton.'

'he told you to leave?!'

'yea,' you started really sobbing now, it was hard to get your words out, 'he made it sound like i was nothing without him and that i'd be lost on my own, which i would, but he was just so horrible to me. what the hell did i do?'

'i don't know darling. do luke and mikey know about this?'

'no, i haven't told them yet. i was gonna call them earlier to ask them what was wrong with Calum but then the whole kicking me out thing happened.'

'have you eaten?'

'no, do you mind if i stay the night?'

'of course not, hun. do you want me to say anything to calum? tell him you're here or something?'

'no, thanks. it's not like he'd care or anything,' you let out a small giggle but it wasn't funny. you were broken.

Ashton gave me a sympathetic smile and, thankfully, decided to change the subject.

-

After eating Chinese takeaway for dinner, having not thought about Calum for a while, he suddenly creeped back into your mind. You started wondering what he was doing now, has he eaten? Should you go back home? You took a few deep breaths, trying not to break down for the third time today. So much has happened today. Your whole future with Calum was falling to pieces, and the past flashing in your mind, both the happy and sad times.

Your future was supposed to be perfect. By the time you were 30, you were going to get married, have two kids of your own and adopt a teenager, maybe a 15-16 year old, after all they were deprived of their childhood and you wanted to give them that, the childhood they hadn't had yet and the one you never had. It was going to be busy 24/7 but you knew it would be worth it. Your children were going to be brought up in a loving, happy environment and would get along so well. You'd love them all to pieces and finally understand the term, 'we love you all equally'. You never believed that as a kid, you're brother was definitely the favourite. He's a lawyer, he didn't leave home to live with a 17yr old boy in a band, when you were only 15. Your parents probably didn't know how successful that 'stupid band' became, you hadn't talked to them in 2 years and 34 days.

Your wedding dress was going to be a trumpet one, with a lace top, and a court skirt. On each table there would be beautiful, white calla lilies, in a black/ silver vases and a buffet, because everyone prefers different foods, so that is the easier option. Your aunt was going to make your wedding cake, as you know she'd do a fabulous job. The ceremony was going to be in a field, instead of a church, because, even though Calum's grandparents were pretty religious, you and Calum weren't. Calum's grandparents didn't agree, really, with anything he did, for example,  having me as a girlfriend or having a music career, etc but it didn't stop him. His parents are wonderful people and support him, you both, no matter what and you and Calum loved each other (loved) so much, that you didn't need anyone else's opinions. He saved you, from your family and committing suicide so many times, you don't deserve him. You don't deserve him. Oh.

There was a knock on the door and Ashton came in. 'Hey, love,' he said, quietly and calmly, 'just to let you know KayKay's gonna come over in the morning to take me for breakfast. You're welcome to join us, if you want, but it's up to you. She's popping round at 8:30 to pick me up.' You told him you'll probably be in bed at that time and that it's no fun being a third wheel. You also told him you should probably try to talk to Calum  tomorrow morning so no, but thank you. Ashton smiled, closing the door as he said, 'I love you.' and you replied with a 'thank you for this Ashton. I love you loads.'

Anyway, you and Calum both loved this idea. You weren't even engaged but he used to always talk about marrying you, and how lucky he'd be, but you would say you're the lucky one and he'd blush and kiss you gently. But that's obviously out of the picture now, no matter how bad you wanted it with Calum, he doesn't want it with you. He deserves much better.

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Ashton Irwin is a legend, kaykay's cute, y/n's super nice but super scared, we haven't seen Luke or mikey yet, but Calum's a jerk.

What do you think? Sorry I haven't posted in the last couple of days, I've been super busy. Please vote and comment and share coz it means a lot!! Thank you for your support and patience! And ideas are always welcome. Lots of love <3

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