The Infinite White

Chapter 33 - Ascension

I kept my eyes on the sun, and watched as it disappeared beyond the thick foliage of the surrounding trees; the sky turning from a brilliant blue to shades of orange and yellow. It was almost time, wolves were running here and there setting everything up, the pyre was being built very artfully too, not a mess of sticks and dried leaves, each log was laid and place in particular order at least we will have the dignity of a proper send off, however as legend goes, without a head we will be stuck here unable to find our way to the afterlife. It doesn't matter whether or not I believe in our legends and myths anymore, if I don't make it out of this then I will know one way or another if I should've feared how I died. 

I turn my head to look at Cooper, he had his eyes closed, resting his head against the pole behind him. I watched as his chest rose and fell, resting his arms on his knees that were tucked up near his chest. He wouldn't be in this position if it weren't for me, I couldn't help but feel the guilt that now tugged at my heart, not just for this situation but for every situation where I have caused someone to be harmed. Against my will, the scene from Keith's death flashed across my mind, a life lost because I was too weak to take on the demon wolf. 

"I'm sorry" I whisper under my breath, looking down at the ground in front of me, I was apologizing to Cooper, to Keith, to Eric, to Taylor, to Amber, To Lorraine. To everyone who has been effected by this senseless war, even before it was a war.

"There's no point in apologizing for something that isn't your fault" Cooper voiced beside me, I looked at him and his eyes were still closed, remaining still and calm despite the fact I haven't been able to come up with anything to get us out of this. 

"It may not be all my doing but Keith would still be alive if I hadn't taken him from the bunker" I explained, 

"You can't look back at the past, the what if will keep you rooted there, but you can't change what happened and you will never know the outcome if you had done something different so there is no point to dwell on things that can no longer be changed. You need to focus on the here and now, not the past, not the future, the minutes that are currently ticking away, that's where we are, that's what we need to focus on" he made it sound so easy, but he didn't know what it was like to watch the nightmare that was now my life through my eyes, had no idea of the pressure I constantly feel to do the right thing even if it means breaking away from everything I had known. Now I was here, awaiting my execution and all I can do is look back on my past actions and wonder what if I had done things differently, would the outcome be changed? 
I closed my eyes and tried to feel out for Holden but I didn't get any reply, not a feeling or word, I could even latch onto his heartbeat, it was silent and I started to worry, why wasn't he there, what was he doing? I knew he was still alive, he wasn't injured or in pain he just wasn't there. 

Voices started to fill the empty air as wolves returned from patrol, appearing from the tree line, making their way to the pack house, it was time. I looked at Cooper who had opened his eyes now and was staring at me, if he felt panic he was doing a good job at hiding it, but we both registered what was happening at the same time and I couldn't help my heart beat quickening. I needed to get us out of here, I tested the cuffs again but my skin was too badly burnt and injured for me to do anything. I leant on the post and rose to my feet, not wishing to give them even an inch of me underneath them, Cooper followed my movements, both of us standing as the wolves passed, giving us dirty looks, spitting at our feet, making comments to themselves. The sky took on the colors of the evening, the soft blue blending with orange and yellow as the sun continued it's decent. 

We weren't alone anymore, wolves were running back and forth continuing the preparations, but I noticed the crowd started getting bigger as wolves took their spots below the stage. Staring and talking, waiting for the Alpha to show, so many of them looked as though they they relished the fact that we were to be executed, we were once family, comrades in arms and now they wanted to sentence us to death, for reasons they don't even understand, if only they could understand. The crowd hushed and I looked towards the direction of their stares, there he was, standing at the edge of the porch, dressed in a sapphire suit, immaculately dressed right down to the cufflinks, not a hair out of place. Beside him was our Luna, her hair down nicely, wearing a matching gown, but not smile grace her beautiful face, her eyes hid shadows, her shoulders that once stood tall and proud now hunched a little, as if she was shrinking, shying away from the man she loved, bad thoughts entered my head but even if the Alpha had killed that woman, would he so ruthless to lay a hand on his wife? On the other side of him was Cohen, he was a low rider, nothing compared to the higher ranking wolves, but with most of them defecting to join Alpha Vicera the Alpha didn't have many people to turn too. Cohen was dressed in a black button down and black dress pants, his hair gelled to stay firmly in place, he stood tall and proud beside the Alpha he's spent most of his life trying to suck up too. Laying across the top of his open palms was the Sword of Justice, in all it's blaze and glory, the legendary sword that was going to end our lives.