to begin again

Chapter Five

-NOVEMBER-

Things are getting Better, as long as i have those beloved friends inside my heart. it feels like i’m living the dream, a dream full of happiness. i never knew that i’ll be able to have such amazing friends and friendships like these, it’s like a dream come true. i finally got to get over my depression and the sadness that i’ve been living for years.

i guess now i can finally say that the old Jenna is gone. for real this time.

i won't say that getting over my depression and loneliness was actually easy for me, cause trust me it wasn’t, at first i was so scared to open for these people, i swear i was scared that i’ll end up getting hurt again but then i felt like that there’s something special about them, like they’re not like the ones that i’ve known in my old school, but yeah no matter how much pain i’ve been through and depression, i finally got to survive.

i woke up feeling tired, i don’t really know why but it felt like i didn’t sleep well, last night. Adam’s words kept on going through my mind “ You Must Be Jenna?” it felt amazing to be noticed, i mean nobody noticed me before, so that is something new for me, plus it’s not any other person who noticed me, it’s ADAM, he’s a boy. boys never noticed me before. i don’t really know why am i going crazy about the fact that adam noticed me but yeah, nothing happened after that small conversation we had at math class, the only thing i remember happening was passing small smiles to each other in the hallways whenever our eyes get to meet.

i woke up and went to brush my teeth and wash my face, then i went to the kitchen to eat something. it was Saturday and we didn’t have school. I Opened the fridge and grabbed some orange juice and then made myself some Pancake with chocolate on top. few minutes later mum walked in to the kitchen.

-“Good Morning Sweetheart!” Mum Greeted me with a huge warm hug. i love my mum a lot, i’ve always been by her side even when she had to go through a lot with dad, i can even remember hearing her cry in the middle of the night because of him and i’m not ready to see her that way again. Mum seems Happy now, i won’t say fully happy cause she can’t be fully happy after loosing the guy she though she’d spend her whole life with.

-“Goodmorning to you too mum” i smiled back “Where’s Alex? i haven’t seen him since yesterday?”

-“He’s sleeping over at his friend’s house for the weekend” she said, stopped for a few seconds and then continued talking “you know Jenna, i’m so glad that you and your brother’s lives have changed since we moved here, it’s a miracle to me. seeing you and your brother happy and making new friends is a miracle” i could feel mum was about to cry while she was saying that, her eyes were watery and she was holding herself from crying infront of me.

-“Yeah, Me too mum”i said too her while getting up to give her a hug “Oh By the way mum i was thinking if you could take to the Library later to get myself some new books to read since i have nothing new to read”

-“Oh yeah, Sure” She Answered.

as soon as we got to this bookstore, i felt like i’m in paradise. you know books are amazing, it’s amazing how one book can make you get lost and get away from this stupid world, amazing how few words can inspire you and change the way you look at things. few seconds later i was looking around me, looking for some books to pick, i kept on looking and looking until something cough my eyes, a small girl with her dad, holding his hand so tight, it made me remember the times when i used to be daddy’s little girl, when i used to get to hold his hand in the street cause i’m too scared of all the people around me,i felt like my eyes were getting watery, it’s because i really do miss my dad, i miss having a dad, it really sucks how one stupid little thing can ruin a whole family, a sweet warm family, not saying the fact that dad cheated on my mother is such a stupid thing and the fact he started getting drunk a lot which lead to causing such an abuse to my mum, i just wish if there was a way getting my old dad back, sometimes i wonder if him and my brother alex were close how would it be you know? every boy needs some father and son time .. but it seems like dad is enjoying his life with his new wife.

i took the books that i was intending to read and gave them to mum so she would pay them and then we decided to go and eat something and have sometime together.

…

Sunday morning - 10:00 

i decided to go to Starbucks, i felt like i needed some time alone and some air. so i took my stuff and my keys and left the house.

…

As i walked into Starbucks i could smell the different kind of coffee beans and hearing the coffee blenders, this place was such a comfortable place to me, i love the noises here. Anyways i placed my bag on the chair next to me and .. 

“What can i get you, young lady?” a familiar voice voice behind me said, i turned around to see who it was and that’s when i felt like i’m having a panic attack.

“Adam? you work here?” i said not believing what i just saw.

“oh hello there Jenna, gosh this must be embarrassing” he said laughing, i gotta admit that he looked beautiful, so beautiful. i bet all the young girls who come and visit this place are visiting it just to see him.

“Hey to you too Adam, you ready for the Math exam that we’re having this week?” i said to him while not even sure if this is real or not. 

“a math exam? are you serious? jesus christ Jenna, you come here to tell me bad news or what?” he said looking nervous and funny. i mean the way he got so nervous about this math exam was funny.

“oh no no, i didn’t actually know that you work here” i replayed laughing

“weird isn’t it? i don’t really work here, see my dad owns this place and sometimes he asks me to be a waiter for a while plus he says he’ll pay me for that, so yeah” he stopped and then added “Anyway, what can i get you?” 

“Oh, Caramel Brulèe latte please” i smiled and he did the same.

“Sure, coming in two” he said and then he walked away, i watched him disappear ..