My Dad, the Private Eye: The Falling Star

CHAPTER 3

Dad was now ready to roll as a private eye. But his first stop wasn't for his first case. It was to beg for money at his local Service Canada branch.

"I need to talk to somebody about an extension of my E.I. benefits," Dad said to the lady clerk behind the counter. E.I. stands for Employment Insurance, and Dad's had run out.

"You can do that online, sir," the clerk said like she'd said it a thousand times, which she probably had.

"I know, I've done all that," Dad said. "They rejected my claim. I was just wondering if –"

"There's nothing I can do for you here," the clerk said. "Perhaps if you talk to your former employer's H.R. department."

"I did that too," Dad said. "Listen, there's got to be somebody –" Dad was interrupted by the ring of his phone. "Sorry," he said to the annoyed clerk as he dug his phone out of his pocket.

It was me, calling him on FaceTime.

"Hi, honey," he said, checking out my goth hair and nose ring. I hadn't told him about my new look. "What's with your hair? And is that a ring in your...? Listen, let me call you back."

"I just saw you on YouTube," I said, "and I'm, like, freaking out." Yep, I'd found his commercial on YouTube, and yes, I was, like, freaking out.

"Look, Krista, it's just an ad," he said. But it wasn't just an ad to me. It was my dad being desperate. It was my dad making a fool of himself.

"Sir, there are people waiting," the clerk said, annoyed.

But I wasn't going anywhere. "You want to be a private investigator?" I asked Dad. "'Your On the Fly Private Eye'? You're a mailman!"

"I was a mailman. I got laid off," Dad said. Then he turned back to the clerk. "Which is why I'm here. Is there some supervisor I can talk to who –"

"Next!" she interrupted. She'd had it with Dad. He wasn't playing by the rules. She liked people who played by the rules.

"No, wait!" Dad protested. But then the next customer stepped up. He was a really big guy. Ugly, too. And he didn't seem to like Dad very much. "Uh... you go ahead," Dad said, deciding to give up for now. He hung his head and shuffled out the door.

"I need a new job, Krista," Dad said to me over FaceTime.

"But you don't know anything about being a private investigator," I insisted. That's right, I wasn't very encouraging when I first heard about Dad's new so-called job. In fact, I thought he was crazy.

Dad left the Service Canada office and walked down the busy street, feeling more lost than ever. "I don't know anything about anything, Krista, except being a mailman," he lamented. "But why shouldn't I become a private eye? I'll learn on the job."

"Okay, but your video ad is... kinda pathetic," I said. "You need to jazz it up a bit." I figured, if he's going to make a real go of this new thing, he might as well get serious.

"Alright, maybe you can help me," he said.

"Help you?" I asked. I didn't realize this call would involve me having to actually do anything other than complain.

"Yeah," Dad said. "I was lucky to be able to just post the ad without blowing up the internet."

Dad was probably right about that. And he clearly did need help. But, at that point, I wasn't exactly prepared to help him with his crazy scheme to become a P.I. "Uh... I'm kinda busy," I said in a classic weaseling-out sort of way.

Stopping at a corner light, Dad joined a small crowd waiting for the light to change. "Alright," he said, disappointed. "I'll see you at soccer practice."

"Dad, forget about this private eye thing," I pleaded. "I mean, with Mom nagging you about child support and all, can't you get a real job somewhere?"

"Sure thing, honey," he said and ended the call. What he probably wanted to say was – No, I can't get a real job anywhere. That's why I'm going for this private eye thing. But you can't really say that to a 15-year-old. He probably thought that kind of real-life lesson was too much for me to understand. And he was probably right.

Dad stood in the middle of the group waiting for the light. Staring into space, he contemplated his lack of a future.

But then, something weird happened. Out of the blue, this young lady next to Dad screamed at the top of her lungs and pointed to a building across the street. Terrified, Dad looked...

...and there he saw a blonde woman crashing through the building's third-story window and falling to the sidewalk below!