Chapter 1: So Much Death

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The flash of green light. A high pitched cackling. Screams, cries, blood, and death. So much death. So many lives lost, all because of one boy. One boy got to live in the place of so many more. One life, compared to hundreds. Remus, Tonks, Fred, Sirius, even Colin. Lavender Brown, Snape, Dumbledore. One death after another. Never ceasing. But that's what life is, isn't it? A countdown to death. Death is inevitable, people aren't.

Harry James Potter, the boy who lived. The one that defeated Voldemort. A hero, some say. He begged to differ. Harry was nothing more than a broken, depressed murderer. A murderer. That's who he was. He was responsible for all those deaths. It was his fault that so many family are grieving. It was his fault that those people would never breathe again. Everything was his fault. No one else could see that, but he could. He knew.

Hogwarts. Just another thing Harry helped destroy. The only place he felt at home, and he destroyed it. Partially. 

And after everything he did, they want him to go back? Harry couldn't believe it. Hadn't they all personally watched him kill the Dark Lord? Hadn't they seen what he's done? Even before the war, he was a horrible person. Impulsive, angry, stubborn. And yet, he was happy. And that was what was so sick. How he walked around, laughing and smiling, not even caring about all the evil in the world. He was happy. Now...

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Hermione stepped out of the fireplace, clearing away the mess she had made with a flick of her wand. She walked away, and up the stairs, to the room containing Mr. Harry James Potter himself. She sighed to herself when she saw him. He looked so...

 "Harry," she began, making him jump a little. "Did you hear? We're going back to Hogwarts!" She tried to sound cheery for her friend, hoping to see a smile on his face, something he did so little nowadays.

 "Hey 'Mione." He gave a weak attempt at a smile as he turned to look at her.

 "Are you going to go?"

 "Maybe," he shrugged. 

"Harry, everyone would be delighted if you did. You could see your friends, the professors, Hagrid."

Hagrid held the limp, pale body in his arms. Dead. Harry Potter was dead. 

"Harry!" Hermione was waving a hand in front of Harry's face.

"Sorry?"

"Did you hear me? You spaced out..."

"Oh, uh...yeah, I heard you." He had not, in fact , heard a word of what she had said.

"So, is it a yes or a no?" 

"Yes," he answered, but it came out as more of a question.

"Great! Start packing! Ron will be ecstatic! He was hoping you'd say yes, but with how you've been since..." her voice trailed off, and she quickly tried to change the subject. Hermione knew Harry hated any mention of the war, and she understood. The war hit them all hard, just some more than others. "Anyway, just to pack your things and we'll head down to the Weasley's! " Hermione have a small squeal of delight. The Weasley's? Harry was quite confused, but then he, surprisingly, put two and two together. Hermione must have asked if he wanted to stay at the Weasley's.

"Brilliant. How long will I be staying again?" 

" Till we go to Hogwarts of course! Oh Harry, everyone will be so happy to see you." She pulled him into a bone crushing hug. 

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"Harry!" Ron came running out the door the second he and Hermione had apparated there, like he had been waiting at the window. Honestly, he probably had been. Another bone crushing hug was given.

"Ron...I need to breathe." he wheezed. 

"Right, sorry mate." Harry was released from the hug when Ginny came running up to him.

"No hugs!" he said quickly.

"That's fine," she replied, and she pulled him into a long, deep kiss. Ron cleared his throat. Harry and Ginny pulled away after that. Harry couldn't help but think the kiss felt a bit...different.

Harry shook it off, telling himself it was nothing. He brought his trunk into the house, taking it up to Ron's room. He absent-mindedly turned to let Hedwig out of her cage. His heart clenched. "Right," he told himself, "I killed her too."

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A/N: Hello anyone who's reading this! Ok, so this is my first Harry Potter fanfic...Idk, lets hope it goes well. Anyway this was Chapter 1, but you already knew that. Ok, now I'm just being dumb. Well, see ya!

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