Broken- A Harry Potter Fanfic

Chapter 39: Spells and Sleep

"Are you feeling alright?"

"I'm fine, Draco."

"What happened?" 

"It was nothing, don't worry about it."

"So it must be something then. You can't lie to me, you know." Harry gripped his hair and let out a frustrated sigh.

"I just wore myself out, alright? It means nothing, I'm fine. I'm better already, see." At this Harry tried getting up from the couch, but as soon as he did he began feeling lightheaded again. He saw black for a few seconds, before his sight was returned, revealing a worried Draco right in front of him. Harry hadn't realized until then he'd been steadying himself against the blond.

"Oh yes, terribly better," Draco said sarcastically, rolling his eyes as he lowered Harry back onto the couch. "Now tell me what's going on." 

"No." Draco glared at Harry. Teddy started fidgeting in his arms, and Draco almost dropped the boy, who he'd completely forgotten he was holding. Sighing, he turned to go put the baby back to bed. He paused at Teddy's doorway, and, without looking back, said, "This conversation isn't over. We'll talk later." Harry gulped, slouching slightly, and Draco went into Teddy's room, shutting the door behind him.

Harry began muttering under his breath, a scowl plastered on his face. "Tea, darling?" Harry jumped, falling off the couch, landing with a loud thud. He looked up, to see Andromeda with a thoughtful look on her face.

"No thanks."

"You never told me you and Draco were together." She gave a knowing smirk, and Harry felt his cheeks heat up.

"Wh-what? It's not like that, we're just friends." It was the bitter truth, though maybe Harry wanted them to be a bit more. Andromeda raised an eyebrow, and Harry looked away.

"I wasn't aware friends snogged one another." Harry's mouth dropped."

"How do you even know about that? We didn't tell anybody."

A new voice spoke this time. "I'm afraid that's where you're wrong. You see, Draco writes me frequently, quite often about you. Naturally, he wrote about your kiss, and I was the one who told my sister, only moments ago when I heard you were here. It seems I forgot to mention the two of you hadn't made anything official." Draco wrote about him? 

"Oh, well...alright then." Harry sat up, a bit too quickly, earning a headache in return. He slowly got back onto the couch, Narcissa eyeing him.

"Are you sure you're alright?" she asked. Harry nodded, pressing his heels against his eyes as he tried to fight off the fatigue that was rapidly consuming him. It was then that Draco decided to walk back in.

"Teddy's asleep." He said, looking at Harry, frowning. 

"Thank you, Draco," Andromeda said. The blond nodded in response, still watching Harry.

"I think we'll be off to the kitchen now," Narcissa said, motioning for her sister to follow her. They left, leaving the two boys alone. Draco took a seat next to Harry, who hadn't so much as looked up yet. 

"Will you just tell me what's wrong with you? You never tell me stuff like this."

"I never tell anybody stuff like this," a muffled voice replied. Draco sighed, staring helplessly at Harry.

"Then you can start with me."

"It's not even that big of a deal, you're just turning it in to one," Harry said, finally looking up, but not at Draco.

"If it's not a big deal, then why can't you just tell me?" Harry's hands clenched into fists, and he let out a yawn, only making him even more tired then he already was.

"It's nothing, can we just drop it, please?"

"Harry James Potter, if you think I'm just going to give in and...drop this, as you said, then you're dumber than I thought." Harry rolled his eyes, then yawned again.

"If I tell you, you promise not to freak out or anything? Seriously, it's not a big deal."

"Merlin, yes Harry."

"Okay, fine. Remember a few days ago when we went to the kitchens?" Draco nodded. Of course he did, that was the day he...yeah.

"Go on."

"Well, it was earlier that day that I found this spell that could...calm me, in a way. A spell to make me happier, sort of. I'm not really explaining it right, but it doesn't really matter. The point is, that's why I let Luna in, and why I left my room. I've been using it ever since, only taking it off at night."

"What does this have to do with anything?"

"Well, the spell works, but it has these side effects. If I have it on for too long, then I'll get dizzy, sometimes a fever. And obviously it's going to drain any energy out of me. I don't know, the spell is just...different, from any one I've used before."

"But why are you using it anyway? No one said you had to be happy, Ron died not even a month ago."

"But everyone was worried, and I felt like...like I couldn't be sad for too long. I didn't want what happened over the summer to happen again. And I didn't want Teddy or Andromeda to see me like that, or your mother for that matter. I couldn't even go visit my own family this Christmas, I already feel dreadful about it, but I just can't." Draco stared at him for a long time, at least, for Harry it felt like a long time. In reality, only a few moments passed.

"So...you did it for everyone else. What about you?" 

"What do you mean, what about me?"

"Harry, you need to stop thinking about everyone else for once in your life, and just think about what you want. It sounds selfish, and maybe it is, but it's good to be selfish every once in a while. What do you want, Harry?"

"I don't know what I want," Harry whispered, Draco just barely picking up on it.

"Well, you can start with taking the spell off." Harry nodded, and closed his eyes. A moment later, he felt lighter, but still terribly tired.

"It's off," he said in a small voice, as the grief flooded back inside him.

"No wand? You didn't even move your hand or anything."

"Like I said, it's different from any other spell, it can't be done with a wand," he replied with a yawn.

"Maybe you should get some sleep," Draco said tentatively.

"No, I can't. I don't want to see it again. I have to watch it every single time." Harry swallowed, his throat tight.

"I'll wake you if you start having a nightmare, just get some sleep." Harry hesitated, before nodding. He moved to lay down on the couch, before stopping, and looking at Draco, who hadn't moved. He stared at the blond, who raised an eyebrow at him. Harry sighed, rolling his eyes, before resting his head on Draco's lap, and dozing off.

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A/N: Hello beautifuls! Happy Halloween! I don't know if this chapter made any sense, especially the explanation about the spell and all. I had an idea in my head, but it didn't make as much sense when I wrote it down so...yeah. Anyway, hope you liked this chapter! Have a spooky day! I don't know...I went for a Halloween thing, but that seemed weird. Have an astonishing day! You know what, you choose which one you want.