Emotions

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Nikki's POV

Waking I feel Nicole's emotions they in a turmoil. She's trying to keep them in and failing miserably. I crawl out of bed leaving the others to sleep. Entering the kitchen I find Nicole sitting at the table her eyes are aglow the shade of honey. Tears fall silently down her cheeks.

"What's wrong Nicole?" I ask softly.

"Nothing just pregnancy hormones. I'm more susceptible to the full moon lust. It will rise tomorrow night." she answers sniffling.

"I didn't think that brought on tears. Why didn't you turn to Jason?" I query gently.

"It upsets you and I've caused you enough grief." She continues to weep.

I move closer wanting to comfort.

"No if we touch we might do something we will regret." she moans.

"I'm sorry. I don't mean to be jealous." I say guiltily.

"It's not your fault, it's just instinct." she whimpers.

"Nicole the things that have happened aren't your fault either." I try to reassure.

"Nikki I should have ran away from you that night, but I was afraid." she admits.

"Woman you would have died. Don't feel guilt over wanting to live." I gently take her hand. She shivers at my touch.

"You should leave after the funeral tonight. Stay away till after the full moon." She whimpers and pulls away.

"Go to Jason tomorrow night." I urge even though the thought kills me inside.

"I can't it feels wrong, you are my only." she groans. "I don't know if my feelings are real or instinct.

I take her hand again. Her skin is so soft. Looking into her eyes makes me want to express my love.

"I don't know either Nicole." I growl low with desire. Her scent is becoming intoxicating.

"Nikki we can't go through with the wedding ceremony. I won't make you break your vows further. You still have a chance to heal your marriage. You don't have to be my mate to be the father of my cubs." she blurts out. She pulls away and dashes out the kitchen door leaving me dazed.

"I'm so sorry Nikki." I turn to see Jason.

"Why did she reject me?" I ask. Tears are trying to fall. I suck it up with difficulty.

He takes his favorite chair and rests his hands on the table.

"No one has bothered to sit you down and explain to you what you were in for with the mating bond. It's not that she doesn't want you. It's because she wants you to much."

"To much?" I am so confused.

"I feel for you both. Nicole's first experience with the bond left her emotionally scarred. You don't have a clue how it can mess with your mind." He sighs.

"Are you saying what I'm feeling isn't real?" I answer still overwhelmed by the lingering scent of her arousal.

"No not all of it. I imagine you were passingly attracted to her. Then you became friends while you were surviving together. You are loyal and protective. The bond takes what's already there and makes it more. But you are in love with another and because of your cultural clash of beliefs. It's left you both feeling confused and guilty." he explains gently.

"How are you dealing with her wanting me?" I ask. I don't understand his quiet acceptance.

"Since the claiming all I feel is love and loyalty. You are my brother. I'm just concerned about the three of you. She is right you don't have to mate. I know it hurts right now. Maybe waiting till after the cubs are born to decide is a good thing. Your mind will be clear then. I've waited twenty years. What's a few more months. " he says with a heavy sigh.

"There is more to Nicole's meltdown than you know." Yennefer gently breaks into our conversation. Courtney stands quietly behind her.

"What?" Jason asks. Both Yennefer and Courtney take a seat. I groan wondering how much Courtney heard.

"Henry caught Nicole alone when Nikki and Courtney went into town. He knows how to push her buttons."

"What did he say?" I growl low.

"He shamed her for mating with married males. He told her she should have died rather then exposing our existence to a man she thought was human." She hisses angrily.

"It's not Nicole's fault married men join her mating runs." Courtney grouches.

"No it's not." Jason agrees. I'm just to pissed right now to speak. Why can't he just leave her be.

"He brought up Courtney and you Nikki. He made it clear he thought she abandoned her first mates. He might have lost his sense of smell, but he snoops in people's minds a lot. He listens to us." Yennefer says. "I know I can do the same, but I wouldn't hurt people with my ability. He's horrid."

I jump to my feet. I'm gonna kick his ass. What's going on in my family is our business.

"Nikki we will deal with him tomorrow." Jason steps between me and the door. "We have a funeral to prepare for and attend tonight."

We've spent the day readying for the the funeral. We will have a last feast with the dead. Most of the meat tonight will come from a local rancher who just happens to be a wolf and part of our pack. He raises beefalo. The wolves do try to live light in the wilderness. There will be traditional music. Then a pack howl of mourning.
  Daylight is beginning to fade. People begin to gather. I take the lead my wife at my side. My pack follows behind me my large family at the front. We take our seats at the tables and wait. Lance stands by the serving table. His eyes search the faces of those gathered.

"Come wives, eat with your lost mates one last time." he calls. Nicole pulls herself together and walks with dignity towards the front with the other widows. Henry isn't far from us. He smirks enjoying Nicole's discomfort. I hold back my desire to knock him on his ass. "Come Mothers and Fathers, share one last meal with your sons." Lance continues. He waits patiently for them to be seated. Then he calls the rest to dine. People speak softly among each other as they eat. Jason tells us stories of the brothers before they lost themselves to the beast. As the meal ends music starts to play. Mourners move from the tables and join the singers. Henry moves in our direction. I place myself between him and Nicole as we gather with the others. He sneers. If this wasn't a funeral. I'd knock that expression off his face. I am about to move my family away when a keening erupts from the crowd. An Elder women rushes Henry landing a solid blow to his face. Her claws rake his cheek leaving deep gashes.

"Bastard!" she screeches. She continues her assault swiping him with her claws. Adan and Ciel pull her away struggling. I notice Henry raising an arm to retaliate. I charge slamming my fist into his face. He stumbles back a few steps blood gushing from his nose.

"Stop." Lance roars. The use of the voice halting the violence. I feel Jason tug me away from Henry. He has a smug look on his face when I face him. "What started this Shamara?" Lance asks.

"He knew my sons. He knew their names. He could have told the child. She wasn't trained. But she was a powerful healer even then. She could have reached them. Then he denied them again leaving them to be killed. They didn't have to die."

"Is this true Henry?" he questions his eyes beginning to glow. Henry tries to back away. Nikki, Jason hold him. Victor and Jarl another Elder Arthur come to Lance's side. Their eyes shine icily.

"Nooo...Get out." Henry moans. He writhes and whimpers in my grip.

"The more you resist our mental examination the more pain you will feel." Lance says low.

Henry growls in response.

"So be it." Lance sighs. Henry screams. The bastard goes limp. We let him drop to the ground. "He knew all of the berserkers names and withheld them. The battle could have been avoided. They could have been subdued by the healers." He states.

"He's guilty of a hell of a lot more. Jeff, Joe take him to the centers basement and lock him up." Victor commands.

After they leave the silence is deafening. The solemnity of the Ceremony is lost. Everyone seems unsure how to deal with the disruption. It's Nicole keening howl that finally cuts through through the tension. One by one others join her till the night is full of wolf song.

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