Help! (COMPLETED)

So Many Lies

John's Perspective

I freaked out when Paul asked me if I wanted to get a hotel room with him. My mind was wandering to dirty places. I knew what I secretly wanted to happen wasn't going to happen.

Stop thinking things like that, you bloody queer

Mind racing, I decided to change the topic. We talked for a few hours, and before we knew it, dinner time came around. I wasn't hungry, but I could tell Paul was.

''What do you say I take you out to dinner, my treat'' I gestured.

''That would be lovely,'' Paul kindly responded.

Why did he have to be so kind all the time? Like, every time I asked Cynthia if she wanted to go out, she started yelling at me and putting me in a bad mood. I had no idea what her problem was. I was upsetting myself just thinking about it. Paul and I had to hide our faces while we walked along the streets, because we didn't want to be seen by some crazy fangirls. The two of us ended up going to a small, local restaurant. We had been there many times before, so as soon as we showed our faces to the owner, he smiled wide and kindly gestured for us to follow him. He sat us at a nice booth secluded from everyone else, for he knew we didn't want to be seen. I ordered the smallest thing on the menu, because I knew I would throw up if I ate too much. Paul noticed me nibbling on my burger and asked me why I was doing that. I wanted to shrug it off, but I knew Paul wouldn't stop asking.

''I'm just not that hungry, that's all,'' I muttered.

I wasn't completely lying, so I felt better about it.

''Oh, alright, but, if it's something else, then just know you can talk to me about it,'' He replied.

I weakly smiled and said, ''I honestly don't deserve someone like you,''

I could've sworn I saw him blush. He grinned so wide, that his eyes scrunched up. He looked so cute like that.

Stop swooning, Lennon

I decided to play it off and ''tease'' him.

''You know you look really cute smiling like that'' I chuckled.

This time I knew he was blushing; a lot. I wondered why he was blushing, and what I could do to me his even more flustered.

''Stop being such a flirt,'' Paul said to me.

I responded with, ''How about no,''

We both laughed. Being around Paul made me happy, but I still felt an emptiness inside of me. Deep down inside me. I needed some serious help.

We both walked to our houses to get our stuff. Paul stood by the front door of my place, waiting for me. I found an angry Cynthia in the kitchen. When she saw me, she yelled,

''John, where were you? Let me guess, your little boyfriend, Paul,''

I normally brushed off her statements, but I knew that Paul could hear her from where he was standing.

''Cynthia,'' I calmly reasoned, ''I'm sorry, I didn't know that it was going to take so long. Paul and I decided to get a room for tonight,''

''Why? So you can make out or something!?'' She exclaimed-

I felt myself turn red. Paul was gonna have a lot of questions. That's when Paul walked into the room and saved my ass.

''No, ma'am, we just wanted to get a few hours of songwriting in,'' Paul remarked.

I noticed Paul was flushed, but he still kept calm. In that moment, I was happy that he was there listening to our conversation.

''Yeah, that's all we wanted to do,'' I stuttered.

Cynthia stormed off somewhere. Why did she have to be so extra? I guess I could understand, but still. I tried to reason with her, and I tried being nice, but she doesn't seem to care. At this point, I'm done trying to be kind to her, because even when I am, she gets upset. Paul hardly ever did that. And even if he did, I deserved it. I was never going to be with Paul, and he would never know just how much I adore him. He would never understand how I feel. The only thing he would understand is how I feel about my mother dying, for he went through the same thing. But this was different. This time I had many reasons to feel the way I do. Reasons I refuse to reveal. Even Paul would never know, At least I thought so, Boy, I was wrong. But that's just foreshadowing for later. Forget I said anything. But one thing I will tell you, the night at the hotel was one hell of a night. At least to me it was.