Help! (COMPLETED)

Just A Jealous Guy

John's Perspective

Call me whatever you want, but it wasn't fair. Why did George and Ringo get to be together, but Paul and I couldn't be? My ego was getting the best of me at that moment. I know it's a shitty thing to do; make other people suffer because you're having a bad time, but we all do it. Right? Either way, I decided to talk to Eppy about it.

"Eppy!" I said as I burst into his hotel room.

"John! Learn to knock." Eppy teased me.

I just made one of my dumb faces at him and he laughed and asked,

"What do you need, Lennon?"

I invited myself to sit on the bed. Before I could respond, he told me,

"Is it about Paul? I've been meaning to ask you how it went at the beach; I've just been busy."

"It's not about Paul... in fact, I don't really want to talk about him right now..." I replied.

"Why not?"

"I've just been trying to work out where I stand with him, and I'm getting stressed about it."

"Ah, I see..." Eppy answered in a remorseful tone, figuring out that the confession might have been unsuccessful. "But, in any case, are you doing okay, John? I mean, in general, something seems off."

"Yeah, I'm fine," I lied. Trying to change the topic I said, "anyways, the reason I came here is because I wanted to talk to you about something. It's about The Beatles reputation being at risk."

"Hm, you have my attention."

I hesitated, trying to find the right words until I said,

"As you know, George and Ringo are a couple, and I think they shouldn't be. I mean, when you think about it, it's a huge risk. If someone finds out, it'll be all over the press, and hours later, the whole world will know about it. Not only would George and Ringo be in huge trouble, The Beatles as a whole would be ruined."

"You have a good point. I can't believe I've never thought about that. I'll make sure I talk to them about it." Eppy replied.

I just nodded.

"Are you sure you're okay, I feel like there's something you're not telling me."

I tugged at my sleeves in embarrassment. I did not like being probed into like this, it made me feel like a criminal being interviewed in an interrogation room. Why does everyone treat me this way nowadays?

"I'm fine, Brian! Stop asking all those questions! " I exclaimed, making it obvious that I was lying.

"Talk to me, John, please, I'm worried."

I wanted to walk out of that room at that moment.

"Why are you worried? I already told you I'm fine!" I snapped.

I know my attitude wasn't helping the situation, but I was in a terrible mood.

"First off, don't talk to me like that. Second off, you've been slouching around, and I literally have to throw you out of bed every morning. There are so many things, I can't even list them all. The point is, you've changed in ways that aren't good at all." Eppy told me.

"Well no shit, I've changed, but that doesn't mean anything. Just talk to George and Ringo, that's all I asked. I didn't ask for you to listen to all my problems" I scoffed.

"John, what the hell happened to you?!" Eppy responded.

"For god's sake, nothing happened! Leave me alone!" I yelled, now standing up.

"John..." Eppy softly replied after some silence, "please talk to me if you need to, I'm here to listen."

I was on the verge of tears, and I stormed out of the room. I stormed into Paul and my room went into the bathroom. I slammed the door a little too hard, and fell to the floor, letting my tears pour.

I know you're wondering what the hell just went down. Let me elaborate. Okay, so, first off, the reason I was being so rude was because I was in a bad mood. That's all it was. I was dealing with some hardcore stress. I cried because like always, I was on the verge of ending it all.

As always, Paul rushed to my side to hold me in his arms while I sobbed. We sat there for hours. Soon, we drifted off to sleep holding each other in our arms.

All I wanted was Paul, but I'd never get him. Yet, I dealt with the fact that we were only friends all those years; why was it suddenly such a depressing truth to me?

The answer to that question is simple. I now knew that we shared a passionate love for each other. A love that was so deep, and so pure, no one could ever believe it was real. But it was real to us.

I dreamed of lying in a field of flowers more colorful and vibrant than Paul's personality. The sun would be bright, the air would have a nice breeze, butterflies would be flying around, fluffy clouds of white floating through the sky. Nothing could come in between us. No one telling us what we can and can't be, hand in hand, we would take on the world, and show them all what true love is...

The next day, Eppy had a long conversation with George and Ringo, and it didn't go very well. Ringo seemed to be more understanding than George. Ringo was acting as if he showed extra sympathy for me. Meanwhile, George was furious at me. He yelled something in the lines of,

''I thought we were friends! Why should Richard and I have to suffer because of your shitty ego?! I can't believe you would do this!"

His sentence was followed by a lot of cursing and yelling. He really let me have it.

That's when I knew George was really pissed, and I might've ruined our friendship.

Great, exactly what I needed at that moment.

Despite this, the problem was the fact that my ego and jealousy was the reason George and Ringo had to suffer. I wonder if they're angry at me... it's my fault they had to do it in the first place. Either way, I was feeling like shit, and even Paul's hugs weren't helping as much as I wanted... I wanted more.

I wanted Paul's complete self more than anything.

Little did I know, my dreams would be met, but my soul would be full of guilt forever.