Help! (COMPLETED)

Nothing But Problems

John's Perspective

The Beatles were on a month-long break. We just got done touring, so it was only fair. Here's the thing; in those days, we were so close, that we still hung around each other, even when it wasn't necessary. George and Ringo were a couple, so it made sense that they wanted to hang out a lot. George and Ringo had an amazing relationship, it was almost unbelievable. Which is more than I can say. My love life was in shambles. I was married to a woman named Cynthia, and I thought I loved her, but, after a while, I realized I didn't. I didn't love her at all. Not even as a friend. That's not even the start of the problem. I had a son, named Julian. The kid was only three years old, at the time. I didn't talk to him that much. And I didn't want to. I know I sound like an asshole, but please, hear me out. Everyone I've ever loved has left me, hurt me, or died. My dad abandoned my mother and I when I was a young lad, and my mother got run over and killed by a drunken policeman. I don't want to give anymore examples, so hopefully, you get the point. I loved Julian, but I didn't want anything to happen to him. I wouldn't be able to stand that kind of pain. I couldn't stand anymore pain for that matter. The funny this is, I was hurting inside, yet I didn't feel anything, almost like I lost my emotions. I wanted to run away from everything. Including Cynthia and Julian. Another problem is I'm in love with someone else. Someone you would expect. I don't have the courage to say who it is right now, but maybe later. To sum it up, I've been through some bad shit. Don't get me wrong, I've had good times, but all the bad drowns out the good. The biggest problem was that I didn't have the courage to speak up. I didn't have the courage to tell someone what I was truly thinking. I didn't have the courage to ask for help- All I needed was help. Actually, I didn't need help. I just needed someone to listen to me. I had people who would listen, but even then. I couldn't tell our manager Brian Epstein, because he would just send me to therapy, Or maybe something worse. Just the idea of telling a random person all my problems gave me anxiety. I didn't really want to tell Ringo because he wouldn't get it, even though he would try to. Ringo was a happy lad that never felt true pain in his life. As for George, there were some things I could tell him, but not everything. Cynthia, forget it. There was no way in hell I was going to tell her. The only person I could think of was Paul. Paul would understand more than anyone. But then again, I didn't want to bother him with all my stupid problems. He had other things to worry about. I tried acting like a ''bad boy'' around Paul, but I couldn't bring myself to do that all the time. In fact, I put my defenses down around him. I didn't know what it was about Paul, but I tell you, there was something special about that man. Oh, Paul. All I could think about was Paul. Paul, Paul, Paul. He cared about me so much, But I cared for him more than he would ever know....

~AUTHORS NOTE~ Thanks for reading. I hope you like it so far. A second chapter is coming soon!