To be or Not to be

Victor

Okay so... This is gonna be about a boy... And like normal girls, no this isn't a chapter about a boy I have a crush on, it's a boy I used to call my best friend, cause that's what he was for me.

Well... We had known eachother since we were four years old in kindergarden, then we automatically just started at the same school. Then in 4'th grade I moved school... And half a year later he also moved to the same school, and that was fine, in a bit time I actually began talking pretty much to him... He was actually the only one I was talking to... We got okay close and he knew pretty much everything about me.... He made me more open to people and I actually got a few (very few) friends that I also got close with... But, after I had been on that school for around two years, I moved school again... And I drifted apart from him after a fight we had over the phone because of some girl who dragged me into things I didn't need or wanted to be a part of in a conversation with him... And after that, from my point he was really mad at me, but I heard that he thought that I was the one who was mad at him, I didn't mention that to him but we just started talking together again but not exactly the same way or as much anymore... And then I've heard a lot of things from people and I've started thinking really much and everything has started to make sense... I have a few options how it is.

1. I love him more than he understands and he actually just sees me as a sidekick when he has no one else...
2. I love him and he actually hates me and just acts...
3. We both love eachother but we both think the other one doesn't really care so we don't tell eachother and gets it talked out...

They're even in order of which once I think is most possible... But it just hurts really much, cause honestly he is the person in this world I have, and care most about...
And now I've kinda felt that he doesn't really wanna talk to me and he doesn't like me, so I've kept distance and I've decided "maybe is best that way" and I've tried putting our friendship behind me... But guess what? Now he fucking just started at my new school today! And I'm going crazy cause I'm still sure about my options...
And that hurts so much...
But I just wish that he would tell me if he actually didn't want to be my friend so that is know if I should let go, instead of being in Thai constant fight....