✔️There Will Be Nothing

1^ I Hate The Police

"Conrad? Wake up!"
     Connor's stupid voice breaks through my dream. Not that it was particularly interesting, anyway. It was just another nightmare. I'm used to those.
     "Conrad! C'mon, wake up!" He shakes me hard. "We have plans today!"
     I groan painfully. There's a stinging sensation in my cheek. Slowly, I prop myself up. The blanket slides down my bare back as it angles down.
     Connor gasps. "Conrad!!" he snaps loudly, gripping me by the arm and dragging me out of bed.
     "H-Hey, hey! What the hell, Connor?!" I complain as he drags me to the bathroom. The stinging in my cheek intensifies. Connor shoves me down, forcing me to sit on the toilet. "What the fuck?! I hate you!"
     "No, you don't!" He gets a rag wet and kneels in front of me. "Stay still." I hiss in pain as he presses the rag to my cheek. "Did you seriously get into another fight, last night?" he asks sternly.
     I don't say anything. I give him the silent treatment, because I'm a bitch, and I'm pouting.
     "Conrad."
     His stern tone breaks my facade. "Yes. But, he was asking for it!"
     "Dammit, Conrad!"
     I finch away. You know it's bad when Connor starts cussing. I won't be surprised if he just finishes what the guy started and kills me right here.
     "Well? Tell me the story."
     I hesitate before I begin to tell the story of my late-night adventure. "Well, you know, I went out, last night, like I always do. It was ok. I almost got home without getting into a fight, but I was on the bad side of Detroit. The really, really bad side. I ran into a gang, and the leader fucked me up. So... yeah. I'm just a piece of shit, Connor. Don't get all worked up over me." The lie comes easily. I know who hurt me. I'm just too afraid to tell him. I'm too afraid of the memories. I want to forget. I desperately want to forget, but it haunts me.
     Connor presses a gauze patch to my cheek wound, then moves to my chest. It's not as bad as my cheek, but there's still a few scratches that need to be addressed. "You're lucky the whole gang didn't mess you up," he growls. "And, of course, I'm going to be worried about my stupid, little brother who can't stay out of trouble. When you come home like this every night, of course, I'm going to worry." He sighs softly. "You're lucky. Most of this is just bruises. You should be ok."
     I smirk arrogantly. "Of course, I'll be ok."
     Connor sits back and stares at me. His brown eyes are intense.
     I shrug. "What?"
     He sighs and lets his head drop. "Look... Hank and I were talking about what we're going to do with you, and we've finally come to a decision. We talked to Captain Fowler, and he agreed to employ you to the DPD."
     I gape at him. "Y-You're kidding. You're fucking kidding me. Tell me you're kidding!"
     "Afraid not, Conrad," Hank interjects from where he leans against the door frame.
     I look from him, to Connor, then back to him. "Why are you doing this to me?!" I snap at Connor, standing aggressively. "You know I hate the police!!"
     "Well, now you are one!" Connor snaps back, flushing blue. "I'm only doing this because I'm sick of you doing nothing besides getting in trouble! It's time to get a fucking job, Conrad! You are going, and that's that! Don't fucking argue with me, or I'll bury you!!" he roars, breathing heavily.
     I shrink back, afraid of him. You really know it's bad when he yells and cusses at the same time. I feel horrible. Only the worst scumbags can make Connor as pissed as I do.
     "You are going," he reiterates a lot more calmly. "Your uniform is on your bed. You have five minutes to get dressed and ready. Don't push me, or I will dress you myself." He turns and leaves the bathroom.
     "I would do what he says. I don't think I'll be able to stop him if he tries to kill you," Hank grumbles in his deep voice.
     "Yeah, yeah, I know..." I mutter, walking to my room. My uniform sits on my bed. For a second, I consider running away. "I'd have nowhere to go," I sigh. "Maybe... it won't be so bad..." I change into a clean pair of underwear, then pull on the cleanly pressed, navy blue pants. I pull my shirt on and admire myself. My name is embroidered on the left side of my chest, and my model number is on the right. I turn around. My model number is printed on the upper-middle of my back, just under a blue triangle. "Great. Of course, you have to point out the fact that I'm an Android," I growl.
     I stare at my LED. It's the main thing that defines me as an Android. I had considered getting rid of it, but... I feel like I would lose a bit of myself if I got rid of it. So, I kept it.
     I walk over to my door and open it, shutting it behind me. My synthetic heart sinks in my chest as I enter the living room. Connor sits on Hank's lap, and they're staring at each other with those fuckin eyes. My heart sinks further, and I find myself getting jealous. It's not that I'm jealous because I want Hank, or I want Connor, because I don't. I'm happy that they're together and happy, but... I'm jealous, because I want what they have. That look they share? I want to look at someone like that. The way they're comfortable with each other? I want to be comfortable with someone like that. I want someone to love me the same way Connor loves Hank.
     "Conrad...?"
     I snap out of my thoughts, LED blinking yellow.
     "Oh, Conrad..." Connor stands and rushes over to me, enveloping me in a hug. "I'm sorry for yelling at you earlier. I didn't mean it. Please, don't cry..."
     I blink in confusion. Cry? I'm not crying. I bring a hand to my unwounded cheek and bring it back. There's a wet sheen on my fingers. Holy shit, I'm crying. "I-I... it's not that. I mean, I'm a horrible person. I deserve to be yelled at."
     "You're not a horrible person," he reassures, pulling away.
     "I don't want to talk about this, ok? Just accept that I hate myself, and I'm nothing, ok?!" I snap, immediately wincing at my sharp tone. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't yell at you."
     "It's ok, Conrad. Let's go." He walks over to Hank and takes his hand, smiling happily. Hank brings Connor's hand up to his face and kisses it. Connor giggles.
     I narrow my eyes in anger. It's hard to feel happy for them when I know that I'll never have what they have. I get into Hank's car, neglecting to buckle myself in. Hopefully, I'll die in a car crash before we get there.
"Hey," Connor whispers gently, turning to look at me.
Judging by his tone, I can tell he's going to try to say something to make me feel better. It won't work, but it can't hurt to try. I raise an eyebrow at him, inviting him to go on.
"Don't feel so scared. You're not the only officer starting today."
Officer. I scowl as he says that. "I'm not an officer," I brood, looking out of the window.
He ignores that. "His name is Colin. He's an Android. The new RK1000," he says excitedly.
I roll my eyes. "Let me guess: he looks just like the already three RK Connor clones that already work at the DPD?" I mutter sarcastically.
He nods. "Yeah... but, he's slightly different! He has the same face as us, but his hair is white. It's gorgeous. You should see it! You'll love him."
"I don't 'love' anybody. I'm not you, Connor. I don't want to be in love," I lie. That's an absolute, goddamn lie. I want to be in love. I want to be in love so bad. I'm just afraid to be in love... I'm afraid to get hurt emotionally. Physical wounds are a hell of a lot easier to heal than emotional wounds.
"All I'm saying is that this could be your chance!" Connor turns around, but continues to drone on. "He's really tall. Like, taller than Conan. He towers over me. And, he's so handsome. His features are sharper and more intense than ours. He's just so perfect. His voice is so deep and smooth. He's so gentle. He looks like he can crush you, but he'd rather cuddle you."
"Connor, stop. I'm not like you and Hank. I'm not like Conan and Gavin, either, ok? I'm not gay," I lie again. Holy shit, I am SO FUCKING GAY. I'm so gay, I watched some random guy lick a popsicle and instantly got a boner. Well, maybe that says nothing about how gay I am, but it still happened.
     "Really? Are you sure, you're not gay? Your browsing history says differently," Connor laughs.
     "Connor! Fuck you!" I whine, covering my flushed face.
     Him and Hank laugh aloud at my embarrassment. "We're here," Hank alerts us.
     I stare up at the DPD, feeling intimidated by the building alone. I follow Hank and Connor inside, looking around with a mix of fear and curiosity. I'm such a baby. I shouldn't be as scared as I am.
     Conan and Gavin approach us. They're not exactly smiling, but they're not frowning, so I don't know what to expect. "Conrad," Conan greets. "I was beginning to think that I was going to have to drag you here."
     "Hmph..." I pout. "I'm not that much of a brat."
     He laughs lightly, but doesn't challenge me. "Colin is here. He's interested in seeing Conrad."
     "What? Why me? Why would anyone want to see me?" I ask.
     Conan shrugs. "Who knows? Maybe, it's because you're both new here, and you're both starting today. Maybe, he's just as nervous about this as you are." Conan turns and walks off. "This way!"
     I follow him, trying my best to avoid all contact with anyone. It seems to work as we walk through the security gates and into the precinct. I successfully manage to avoid everyone when Conan stops. "Colin, this is Conrad. Conrad, this is Colin."
     I look over to see a huge Android towering over me. I mean... he's exactly 8 inches taller than me, leaving him at a towering 6'8". Beads of sweat drip down my back the longer I stare up at him. Connor was 100% fucking right. He's handsome as hell. Like, wow, he's hot. His features are sharp, but they're sharp in a really pretty, pleasing way. His hair is so perfect! It looks like snow on his head. It's gorgeous. His eyes are so soft, but I can tell that they can sharpen in an instant if he gets angry. I find myself immediately falling for him, and I hate myself for it. But, he's just so pretty! I can't help it!
     "Conrad?" Conan snaps his fingers in my face, snapping me out of my thoughts. That's the second time I've zoned out today.
     My LED blinks red. I twist around and grab Connor, dragging him away from them. "I-I need to talk to Connor! I'll be back!" I throw over my shoulder.
     "What's wrong with you?" he asks with concern.
     When I'm certain they can't hear us, I turn and stare at Connor. "Connor, I'm panicking. I'm panicking!" I whine hurriedly, tangling my hands together.
     He pulls me in for a hug. "Shh, it's ok, Conrad. It's ok. Was it Colin? Does he intimidate you? He intimidates everyone, but we're working on getting used to his presence. You don't have to work with him if you don't want to."
     "Connor, it's not that." I pull away, blushing in embarrassment. "I lied. I am gay."
     "I know that, Conrad. I knew that from the start." He leans in closer. "Does that mean-?"
     "Yes! I... I think he's really hot, and I love how tall he is, and I feel so, so stupid, because, I know, I'm barking up the wrong tree." I cross my arms defensively.
     "Who knows. He might just surprise you. Look, I want you to calm yourself down, ok? When you're calm, come find me and Hank. We'll be at our desks. We have an investigation, and Fowler wants you two to come with us for educational purposes." He nods and walks away, leaving me alone.
     I sigh, knowing that this is going to be the worst day of my life.