✔️There Will Be Nothing

14^ Please, Say Yes

I wake up next to Colin. The sounds of gunshots are still ringing in my ears, but Colin's here. So, I didn't kill him...
     We're both naked. For a moment, I thought that we must've had sex, last night, but I can't remember doing that.
     Then, I remember. We didn't bother to put our clothes back on. We just came home and fell asleep naked. I laugh to myself. Of course, we didn't bother getting dressed.
     I sit up with every intention of getting a drink, but Colin's arms wrap around my waist, effectively locking me in place. I glare down at him, but he's not awake. His mouth is slightly open; I can hear his raspy breaths.
I take his arms and pull them off of me, carefully setting them back down. Then, I scurry away, peeking back one last time to make sure he's still asleep. He is.
I feel horrible. I killed him in my dream. He was in Connor's place, and I shot him.
I pour some Thirium in a cup and drink it, slowly getting lost in my thoughts. I could've killed Connor, that day. I could've done it. I squeeze my eyes shut, but all I can see is Colin's face as he falls to the floor, dead.
I know, I'm overreacting. I know, it was just a nightmare. But, I can't help but feel bad.
I can hear the unmistakable sound of feet on the floor, and I feel worse, because I know that I've woken Colin up. I don't turn to look at him as he comes closer. He snakes his arms around my waist and rests his chin in my shoulder. "Are you ok, Conrad?" Colin asks with his morning voice.
I love Colin's morning voice. It makes me feel a bit better, but not by much. "Mmhmm..." I hum, taking a sip of my Thirium.
He sighs softly. "You need to work on your lying skills." He kisses my neck. "It's 2AM. You never wake up this early, babe. Was it a nightmare?"
I stand there, not saying anything. Colin starts humming and kissing my neck again.
"You sure do like kissing my neck, Colin," I comment, purposely avoiding his question.
"What can I say? I like kissing. It's kind of my thing. It's my favorite thing, ever. I just like showering you in kisses. You know, if you don't like it, just say something." He pauses, waiting for me to say something, but I don't. "You sure do want to avoid talking about your nightmare, Conrad."
I round on him, suddenly angry. "It wasn't a fucking nightmare, Colin! It was nothing."
He lets me go. I feel cold where he once was. "Liar."
I glare at him. "I hate you."
"You love me. You wouldn't be here if you hated me." He looks at me with sad eyes. "Why do you keep lying to me, Conrad? Why are you avoiding me? I'm only trying to help you."
I purse my lips together as tears come to my eyes. "I'm sorry!" I cry, running forward and hugging him. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry..." I sob.
"Shhh..." he soothes, running his hand up and down my back. "I'm not angry. It's ok. I just wish that you would open up to me..."
     "I-I had a nightmare that I k-killed you, ok?! I know, it was just a nightmare, but I f-feel bad!" I whine, furiously wiping at my stupid tears. "I'm such a baby..."
     "Hush, Conrad. It's all ok. Believe me, you couldn't kill me if you tried." He pulls away from me, but his arms are still wrapped around me. "I have one, and only one, weakness. No one knows what it is."
     "Wh-What is it?" I ask, sniffling.
     He grins. "Why would I tell you?"
     "Oh... right, I guess, you shouldn't tell me."
     He cocks his head to the side. "Come here." He pulls me closer. "I'll tell you what it is, but you cannot tell anyone." He takes my hand. "Don't press down on what you feel." He brings my hand up to his ear and brushes my finger behind it. There's a tiny bump that's snug behind his ear. "Do you feel that little bump?"
I nod.
"That's a little thing I like to call my kill switch."
I snatch my hand back, shivering. "I-I could've pressed it!"
He shakes his head. "Yes, you could've pressed down on it, but you wouldn't have done anything. It takes a considerable amount of strength and pressure to actually push it. That's pressure and strength that you, alone, aren't capable of applying. Any way you look at it, you can't kill me."
"But, you can."
He nods. "And... maybe, Conan, too, but let's not test that theory." He winks.
"I'm sorry..." I hug him, again, laying my head on his shoulder.
"For what?"
"Waking you up."
"Don't worry about it, love. I automatically wake up when I can't feel you near or next to me." He pulls me close, placing soft kisses on my shoulder. "You know, I never actually sleep."
"What? Why not?" I look up. "I thought, you did?"
"I don't need to. You, Connor, and Conan need some form of rest to continue functioning, but I don't. I can go on and on for months and months and be perfectly fine."
"Ok, so... what do you do? Lay there?"
"Well, yes, I lay there. I don't get up and walk around." He kisses my forehead with an amused smile. "But, it's a lot more complicated than just 'laying there.' I spend the entirety of your rest running constant checks. I check your breathing patterns, any noises you make, I constantly compare your natural sleeping habits with your current self to make sure you're not uncomfortable. I constantly check our surroundings to make sure nothing gets in the way of your well-deserved rest. I do many things, while you sleep. You can be certain that nothing will hurt you, while you sleep. I'm always there."
"But, you looked pretty asleep to me when I got up," I point out.
"Merely an illusion, love. You never wake up this early, so I was curious when you did. And.. I kind of wanted you to stay, so I wrapped my arms around your waist. But, you left. And, I followed you."
"So... you spend your nights analyzing me? And the room we sleep in?"
He nods. "Of course. I know, it sounds creepy, but it helps me take care of you. It helps me help you rest. And, there's nothing I love more than helping you."
"Yeah?" I kiss his forehead. "Well, you can help me by carrying me to bed and so I can go back to sleep."
"Whatever you say, love."