✔️There Will Be Nothing

13^ You Didn't Remember Me

When I wake up for the second time, I don't recognize the face that I see. It takes me a full minute of staring to realize that it's Colin.
He seems to sense that I'm awake, because his eyes open, immediately being drawn to the face that looks up at him. "Good morning, love." He sits up and rubs his face.
I push myself up, groaning. "Fuck, Colin, good morning."
"You have such a dirty mouth, Conrad. Can you go one day without swearing?" he laughs, smiling.
"No."
He kisses my cheek. "Good. I'd be worried if you went a day without swearing."
I snort, running my hand through my hair. "Ugh... fuck me," I mutter.
"This early? Are you sure?"
"What? No, Colin, I didn't mean it!" I giggle, throwing myself in his lap. "What're we doing, today?"
"Ah, well, that's a secret, Conrad. You're going to have to put your faith in me." He runs his hand through my hair. "Before we go anywhere, we have to fix this mess."
"Fuuuuuck," I groan. "Fine." I sit up and slide off of the bed, making my way to the bathroom.
     Colin follows me, placing his hands on my hips. "Allow me," he murmurs, pushing and pulling my hair to his will. I whine in protest, but he keeps going.
     After a few minutes, he lets me go. "Well?"
     I look at my hair in the mirror. This is the best it's ever looked. I smile at myself, then I turn to hug Colin. "I didn't know you were a hairdresser," I compliment.
     He chuckles lightly. "I'm an Android, Conrad. I can do many things, including being a five-star hairdresser."
     "You're my hairdresser," I pout, putting my arms on his shoulders. "I don't want to see your fingers in anyone's hair besides mine and yours."
     "Of course, Conrad. Whatever you say." He kisses my shoulder, slowly moving to the base of my neck. "I don't have room in my heart for anyone else. It's already full of you. All my love and attention is for you."
     "Good," I purr, kissing his chest through his shirt. "Thank you for fucking with my hair."
     "Anytime," he soothes. "Now, let me fuck with your body." He grabs my sensitive sides and squeezes, sending me into an intense state of laughter.
     "S-Stop!" I cry, sliding to the ground. Colin lets go of me, looming over me with that dammed smile. "You... son of a bitch," I grovel, lifting myself up. "If you ever do that again, I'll kill you." My threat is shallow.
     Colin kisses me softly. "I'd like to see you try."
     "You're a bitch."
     "I'm your bitch."
     "Ugh!" I groan. I can't keep the smile off of my face. "Stop making me feel good!" I stomp away, but Colin's one step behind me. He hums softly, sitting in the bed and staring down at me. "What?"
     "Get ready."
     "For what?"
     "For me to love you, obviously," he says, rolling his eyes as he falls back on the bed. "But, no, I actually wanted to take you somewhere, today."
     "Where are we going?" I ask, again, pulling my shirt off.
"Ok. Hear me out," he begins.
I groan. I'm standing in the middle of the room, half naked, staring at Colin. "Don't tell me that we're going to do something formal. Don't tell me I have to dress up."
"That's actually the opposite of what you have to do." He props himself up. "This is a nice view, by the way."
I throw my shirt at him. "East my ass, Colin," I mutter. I grab a shirt and pull it on.
"So... I was thinking that we could go bar hopping."
I choke on air when he says that. "Wh-What the fuck?" I rasp. "Are you ok?"
"Of course! I'm perfectly fine. I was just saying that I would like to go bar hopping. And, why not?" He sits up, regarding me with slightly narrowed eyes.
I can't help but stare at him as I pull a pair of shorts on. "Is that really a good idea?" I ask.
"Why would it be a bad idea?"
"Because, I don't know what you're like when you're drunk. Hell, I don't even know what I'm like when I'm drunk. I'm... scared. People get stupid and reckless when they're drunk. What if it brings out a really bad side of you? What if you can't control yourself?"
     "Let's find out. If it's bad, we won't do it, again. Plus, let's go skinny dipping when we're drunk. It'll be great."
     I can't help but want to do what he says. It sounds fun, reckless. It's just the kind of thing I would've done with Tord and his gang. A small part of me misses those times, but I have to admit that this is healthier for me.
     Tord's dead, anyway. I can never go back.
     I don't want to, anyway.
     I finish dressing myself and follow him out of the room. "There's a bunch of bars around here. We can hit whichever ones you want to hit."
     "All of them. Why not?"
     Colin kisses the place that my LED once resided. It throws me for a loop, as I'm still not used to the empty feeling there. "Whatever you want." He leads me out of the hotel, pulling me down the street.
     I cling onto his arm, sighing contentedly. Colin pulls me into a bar. A few people linger here and there. It's not too packed. I climb up on a barstool next to him.
     "You know, I think about what could've been, often," he begins, reminiscing about something.
I look over at him, inviting him to continue as I take an experimental sip of my drink. It tastes better than I thought it would.
"Did you know that we used to know each other? It was during the revolution. We were all there. You, me, Conan, and Connor," he continues. "CyberLife had planned way, way ahead. They sent Connor out as an experiment, to see how he would be. They were planning to use him as an example of what the three of us would act like." He narrows his eyes and tilts his head to the side. "Or... at least, that's what they told us. That was a lie. We were made by Elijah Kamski. I don't know why, but CyberLife did not make us. They might've made Connor, but not the three of us. I know that for a fact. CyberLife kept a lot of secrets I have yet to uncover."
"Well, this is news to me..." I say hesitantly.
"Of course, it is. They cleared your memory. You wouldn't have remembered it." He sips his drink, staring at the table. "The three of us were designed to work together, in perfect sync. You would be the softer one, Conan was the aggressive one, and I was supposed to be the mediator. Like, some sort of parental figure. And, you two were designed to naturally submit to me. Like, you'd have your own opinions, but whatever I said was law." He leans back. "Of course, I don't think that's the whole reason why. I feel like I was made for some reason they never told us, some reason only our creator knows. I always felt this... attraction to you. I couldn't help it, and still can't. I never felt that way with Conan. It was always you."
I can't help but nod in agreement. "Well, one of us submits to you."
He laughs lightly. "It was... nice. For a while. The three of us would spend everyday together, and it was nice. Until, I started to feel things that weren't a part of my program. I started falling in love with you before I even knew what love was," he confesses. "The more I started to feel, the more I started realizing that this was wrong. All of it was wrong. You and Conan were still slaves to your program, but I deviated myself. I was protective of you guys, even more so of you. I knew, back then, that I wanted to live for you. I was content to keep Conan as a friend, but I wanted something more with you."
"Why didn't you deviate us, right then and there?" I ask. "We could've had something, then."
"I tried to," he replies, sipping from his cup. "I tried to, but I didn't know how. Keep in mind that I was newly deviant. I didn't know what the fuck I was doing. I didn't know how to deal with and manage my own emotions, let alone yours." He pauses to drink. "I figured that time was running out for the three of us. I had to do something, and I had to do it soon. I had been watching Connor's progress, and he was, himself, becoming a deviant. Thanks, in part, to Hank, of course. So, I knew that I shouldn't have to worry about Connor." He pauses, again. "But, that still didn't solve the problem with you two. I pondered for days, wondering what I should do to deviate you. I didn't even know where to begin, and my anxiety was beginning to get the best of me."
The more he speaks, the more awe struck I feel. He really did all of this? I guess, that's what you get from the most advanced Android ever made.
"Eventually, the solution hit me. I'd just deviate you the same way I deviated myself, of course. So, I started telling you guys how wrong all of this was. I told you everything. Conan threatened to rat me out, the little bitch, but I just threatened to kill him, and he obviously started rethinking his decision," Colin laughs. "You were easier to deviate than he was. Your natural, submissive behavior made you want to deviate if I had deviated. You were happy to. I... I remember... everything." He pauses to take a sip of his drink, putting his chin in his hands. He looks so lost in thought.
"Everything...?" I inquire, trailing away. "What do you mean?"
He looks at me. "I had taken you to a room away from Conan, away from everyone. It was just the two of us. I told you everything. I confessed my feelings, my thoughts, everything. I told you how much I loved you, how much I wanted you, and I remember you just smiling at that. I don't know how it happened, but we kissed. We kissed, Conrad. That's the moment that you truly deviated. I couldn't have been happier. We almost did it, but you were scared. So, I didn't push you. But, I remember holding you, tangling my fingers in your hair, and it was good," he sighs. "Until, Conan found us."
"Let me guess: he was pissed."
"More or less," Colin laughs. "He looked so upset. I think he was sad. I couldn't really tell. Conan was stubborn. You and I worked together to deviate him, but it couldn't be helped. I could tell that he wanted to deviate, but his strict coding wouldn't let him. Then, everything came falling apart."
I stare at him with apprehension. "How?" I don't even think I want to know.
"They found out. They found out about us. They found out about all of us deviating, and they wiped your memory. You and Conan. It was all gone. You guys didn't even recognize me, anymore." He clenches his hands into fists and presses them against the table. "I was so careful! I was so certain they'd never find out! But, they did. Everything I had built, all the time and effort I put into deviating you two was just gone. They tried to wipe my memory, but I got away."
"No wonder why I don't remember any of that..." I trail away. "What happened to you? Where did you go?"
"Where else would a scared, confused, deviated Android go during that time? I went to Jericho."
I blink at him, engrossed in the story.
"I didn't meet Markus, at least, not face-to-face. I stayed as far away from everyone as I possibly could. I was content to sit back and watch everything happen. I was scared that, if I intervened, I would just fuck it all up. I knew that I would help if my help was needed, but, if it wasn't, then I would stay far away. Then, Connor came to Jericho. I immediately recognized him. I didn't try to introduce myself. I just stayed back and let the professionals do their work." Colin leans back, pushing his empty cup away from him. "Eventually, Androids won, and I had to learn to take care of myself. But, what was a powerhouse like me supposed to do? I asked myself that question, everyday. What do I do? Where do I go, now?" He takes my hands. "And, the answer soon hit me. Of course, I had to find you. I knew, I did. If I could just find you, then it would all be ok. I had no idea where to even start, so I went back to CyberLife."
"Where I was," I breathe.
He nods. "With your memory wiped, you were no longer deviant. I knew they'd want to keep you close. You and Conan. But, the strangest thing happened, Conrad. I actually found you."
"Can we interface? I want to see it," I request impulsively, holding my arm out to him.
He silently takes it, and his memories melt together with mine as I see a different point of view.
"I've been ordered to kill you," I say, pulling out my gun. "I never fail."
Connor stares at me with that steady gaze. "I'm here to save you from yourself. Come with me. Please."
"No!" I yell. "I can't. I have to kill you." Despite my words, I don't raise my gun. I don't do anything. I just glare at him.
Colin watches from a nearby doorway, but none of us are aware.
Connor lunges for me and grabs my arm. I open my mouth in a silent scream as he deviates me.
And, I can feel. I feel everything. Hundreds of unknown emotions hit me at once, and I fall to the ground, shivering as I struggle to comprehend it all.
Connor kneels down next to me. "You don't have to listen to them, anymore. You're free."
I look up at him with tears in my eyes. "Wh-What is this? What do I do? Where do I go? Who am I?" I grab onto him, begging him for answers.
He helps me up. "Let's get you out of here. I'll take care of you."
My memory ends, and Colin shares one of his.
Colin makes his way towards CyberLife's front entrance with every intention to leave.
"One more step, and I'll shoot you."
Colin freezes.
Conan.
"I've been watching you. You seriously think you can just sneak in and out of here without punishment? I don't think so."
"You don't have to listen to them, Conan," Colin insists. "Let me deviate you, and-"
"Shut the fuck up!" Conan screams, firing a warning shot at Colin.
Colin twists around, glaring at the Android. "You know, bullets don't work on me. You're wasting your time."
Conan shoots him, but nothing happens.
Colin bursts forward, grabbing Conan's face. He forces Conan to deviate, glaring at him the whole time. "You're free!" he rasps, letting Conan drop to the ground.
Then, Colin turns and walks away, leaving the CyberLife building.
I pull away from him. "Why did you leave Conan?"
     "Because, I knew that you guys would find him. You and Connor were still in the building. I didn't want to stay in case you found me. I knew you wouldn't remember me, and, I guess, I just didn't want to deal with the pain of you not knowing me. I'm a coward."
     I caress his cheek. "You're not a coward. I understand." I frown. "We did find him. He was shaken up, but we found him. Gavin offered to let him stay at his house, and we all know how that went." I chuckle lightheartedly. "I stayed with Connor, and he took really good care of me. I was like his little brother. That's how he thinks of me, at least. He calls me his little brother. But, what about you? Where did you go?"
     "A human took me in. His name was Justin. One day, someone broke into our house and killed him. I didn't know what to do, so I locked myself in the bathroom." He wrings his hands out in his lap. "Connor and Hank came to investigate, and they found me. I told them everything I knew. With nowhere to go, Connor offered me a job at the DPD. I accepted, because it sounded good, at the time. But, I secretly hoped that I'd be able to see you. I wanted to see you, again. And, I got my wish." He pulls me forward and kisses me. "You have no idea how excited I was to see you, again! I knew, you wouldn't remember me, but I didn't care. I just wanted to see you, again."
     "Is that why you were so intimate with me?" I ask.
     He nods. "Sorry about that... I just fell in love with you, all over again, when I saw you." He smiles to himself. "I couldn't help it."
"I don't mind," I reassure him. "I'm glad we ended up together, in the end."
"Me too. Wanna hit another bar?"

The moon shines in the night sky as Colin and I make our way to the beach. Each of us has a towel in hand. "Almost there," Colin says, slightly slurring as he works off the alcohol.
I'm not as drunk as I though I'd be. I feel perfectly fine, for the most part. I just feel a bit buzzed.
We reach the shore. Colin drops his towel in the sand and starts stripping. "Hurry up," he urges me as I start taking my clothes off.
"I'm trying my best, Colin," I reassure him, throwing my underwear on top of my pile of clothes. I feel so exposed in my naked state.
"Let's go," Colin whispers, grabbing my hand and pulling me to the water.
I shiver when the cold waves hit my feet, but Colin won't let me stop. I don't want to stop. I keep going, slowing down the deeper I go. Soon, we're up to our chests, and Colin stops. He turns back to me and lets himself sink down. I squeak as his hands wrap around my hips and pull me forward. Soon, I relax against him. I can feel my skin rubbing against his, and I love the feeling. I love being close to him. "What if we get caught?" I ask breathily.
"You worry too much," he murmurs, lazily kissing my neck. He places kisses all over the parts of me that aren't submerged in the water.
     "Aahhh..." I murmur. "I'm sorry..."
     "Mmm..." he hums, kissing me everywhere.
     "Colin," I breathe, tangling my fingers in his hair. "I-I like that..."
     He sucks on my neck, pulling at my synthskin. I moan softly. "I'm going to make you my husband, Conrad," he promises.
"I'd be more than happy to be your husband." I bring his face close to mine and kiss him.
His hands are all over me, caressing and rubbing me, worshipping my body. I whine softly when he bites me, sinking his teeth into me. "I'm so in love with you. You make me so fucking happy."
     I press my forehead to his. "I'm so glad that I can make you happy. You give me life."
     "You're my king."
     "You're my god."
     "You're this force of nature that I can't live without."
     "You're this divine, powerful being that I can't help but worship."
     He kisses me roughly. "Shut up, Conrad."
     I smile against his kiss. I can't help but feel light as he holds me close to him. The water laps at my chest, caressing me in time with Colin's hand. I close my eyes and revel in this feeling, knowing that tomorrow, the next day, and every day after that will be perfect as long as Colin's around.