HE'S ALWAYS SAYING 'ILOVEYOU' AND I DON'T LIKE IT.
Jimin is a clingy boyfriend of mine, he's sweet and a caring person. We're in a long-distance relationship, but despite the distance between us, it never became a hindrance for us to make our relationship last, actually we're almost 2 years and still counting.
In that 2 year relationship, I noticed that Jimin is fond of saying 'iloveyou'. I know it's normal to say 'iloveyou' to your partner, but in his case, he's saying it too often, like every moment in a day.
I didn't mind it before and just go with his vibe, I will just plainly respond to his love yous.
I love Jimin more than my life, I can see my future in his eyes, and he's the only boy that made me feel so in love.
But now, I guess, I don't feel the same way.
"Iloveyou, baby," he said over the video call, but I didn't bother myself to look at her, I just continued doing my homework.
"Hey babe, I said I love you", he uttered again.
I looked at him for a moment, I can see perplexity and the pain in it, but I didn't mind that and quickly shifted my gaze back to my work.
Ae cleared his throat before saying a word, it seems like he's forcing herself not to burst into tears, "love, mom and I visited a physician yesterday, and mom told to me have a mental check-up and did you know what was the result?" he paused, "Babe, I'm talking to you!" he partly raised his voice for me to hear him.
"Can't you see I'm busy?" I shouted.
"I- I'm so- sorry", he said, stuttering "I love-" before he could continue his words, I immediately end the video call.
I don't know what's happening to me, I know that I love him so much but his presence doesn't give me excitement anymore, his messages seem nothing to me, his 'love yous' it doesn't give me butterflies in my stomach anymore unlike before.
That's why I don't like it when he's telling me he loves me because when the 'iloveyou' is always present in a relationship, it will lose its spark, it will become normal words for the two of you, it won't give you chill anymore.
And weeks after, he has changed. I never heard him saying I love you first, it's always me, and sometimes no response.
"Babe... you didn't say 'I love you' to me last night before you sleep", I complained.
"Really, I did not?" he asked
"yes"
"I thought I did, sorry. Iloveyou" he said in a sweet voice.
I smiled sweetly as if he could see this smile she's giving to me.
"I love you too so much" I replied.
And the scenario repeats itself. I have to remind him every time about that because he often forgets it. I don't know if he felt bad about how I treated him last time but I know my boy, he's an understanding type of boyfriend.
And the situation became worst, he even forgot to call and talk to me for a day. I thought he's just avoiding me but no, he said, he isn't, and he keeps insisting that.
Until, one day, he never called again, he never texted me. I couldn't do anything because he's too far from me.
I got more disturbed when my friends told me, "maybe he doesn't love you anymore and this is his way to dump you", I know that they're just joking but I felt really anxious about it.
I decided to call him through a video call. But in my great horror, it's not him who answered and appeared on the screen, but a guy.
"WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?", I exclaimed.
"OH, CALM DOWN BRO. I THINK I SHOULD BE THE ONE TO ASK YOU THAT, WHO ARE YOU TO CALL MY BOYFRIEND?" The guy said.
I froze.
I felt my heartbeat stopped literally.
"Kookie, who are you talking to?", I heard his voice.
"JIMIN! JIMIN!" I called her.
"Yes?" he answered with an innocent face.
How can he act like that?
"Who are you?"
That 3 words he uttered left me dumbfounded. Is he acting like he doesn't know me?
"Kookie, I think you should just drop that guy, maybe it's just a prank or a random call, maybe he's bored with his life," Jimin said.
I came back to my senses when they drop the call.
I was so shocked, that was not my boyfriend. He can't say those words, that's too mean of him.
But one thing's for sure, HE CHEATED ON ME.
My life became miserable because of what he did, but I can't even hate him, I can't ever forget him. I love him the same.
I love him still.
Months passed, I decided to come to see him, despite the thought of he'll just push me away but it didn'tchanged my mind.
I just want to see him before I'll finally let go of him.
I'm now outside of their house. I find it easy to look for his house because before he already taught me were his exact place.
I'm outside of their gate, and I can clearly see that they have visitors.
"Excuse me?", a woman poked me from the back.
"Umm. I'm sorry ma'am. Where's Jimin?" I asked.
"you are?"
"I'm Taehyung.."
"Kim Taehyung?"
"Yes, yes!"
"I'm his mom, and you're his ex-boyfriend right?" she cleared out.
"Can I see him, ma'am?", I pleaded
"No, he's getting married"
fuck.
My tears escaped from my eyes.
"Ma'am, why? we didn'thaved a proper breakup? How can he just forget about me that easy? Our relationship, the memories we shared", I sai, and burst into tears.
She put her palm in my face, wiping my tears, "because he just did, he forgot everything, literally"
That made me confused, "what do you mean literally?"
"he has dementia. Day by day he's losing cells from his brain, that made hi forgetful until it got worsened, and she started forgetting people, and the first person he forgot was you.."
I can't utter any words. My body got stuck on the ground. I became numb.
"N-no.."
"And you know what, despite his situation, he's still sweet. he said, when he feels pain on his head when he felt dizzy, he's always saying love you' to us because he said, doesn't know when will the time that he can't be able to remember our names, or when he'll forget us. And he's afraid that he might forget that he loves us, I bet he did that to you also.."
"he did, but i- I ignored it.." I sad, voice is shaking.
"too bad, and now he forgot everything about you.."
I can feel my heart slowly breaking into pieces.
I saw him inside their house, with a wide smile on her face, holding hands with her new boyfriend - fiancée.
I want to shout, I want to tell them that, that guy is mine.
HE'S MINE!
but I can't, because even he can't remember that he belongs to me.
I wish I never ignored his love you'. I wished I didn'twasted even one.
I never thought I'll never receive one of those one days.
And the worst part i.
he didn't just forget the word 'I love you'
But he even forgot that he loves me at all.
