Loving Secrets: An Ashton Irwin Fanfiction

Chapter 19

Luke's POV

I woke up with my head pounding. Fuck. I opened my eyes and saw Calum staring at me from his bed. He was fully dressed and had his suitcase on his bed.

"Get up, we're leaving." He says coldly. Ouch, what did I do to him?

"What's with you?" I ask him as I get up.

"I don't know. Why don't you ask the asshole who kissed his best friend's girlfriend and then punched him." He says without emotion, looking me dead in the eye. I sigh. What have I done. I've screwed everything up. But that kiss. I know I shouldn't have done it and I'll definetly have to pay for it later but, damn. That kiss was perfect, well besides the fact that she pushed me back and I ended up getting punched in the face. But I felt the fireworks and the butterflies and all that crap, even while I was drunk! What does she do to me?! I think I love her more now. Fuck. I need to talk to Daniella, or will that make it worse?

"Where's Dani?" I ask.

"On the bus, she left the room looking pretty damn mad." I figured. This is my fault. I'm ruining a perfectly happy relationship because I couldn't keep it in my pants, or lips? Whatever. I need to fix this. I pack my suitcase and Calum hands me an asprin for my head.

"Thanks."

"Mhmm." He says and turns around leaving me in the room. I follow closely behind him and head to the bus where I'm greeted by a very bruised Ashton, a sleepy Michael and a red-eyed Daniella who gets up from the couch and walks into the bunks after she sees me. This is going to be a long drive. Michael walks back into the bunks as well probably to go back to sleep. I didn't know what I was going to do. We had an interview before the show and Ashton and I both look like shit and there isn't a logical explanation for any of this...well there is but it's not one that we will want to share collectively as a band. I try not to look Ashton in the face as I make my way to the back room to go lay down on the couch. Even though I wasn't looking I could still feel his stare. I hate him. I hate myself. The only one I don't hate is Daniella. In fact it's quite the opposite I love her. Fuck. Stop thinking about her. I walk past her bunk and she is facing the ceiling looking at her phone with headphones in. She turns and looks at me and her eyes are still red and wet. It crushes me to see her upset and it crushes me even more to know that since we've been on this bus I've caused all her despair. She doesn't say anything and I decide not to say anything either so I make my way to the back room where I find Calum sitting on the couch. I slide the door closed behind me and take a seat across from him. Just a day ago I told him the story about the first time Ashton and I saw Daniella and he comforted me and now he looks at me as if he doesn't even know who I am. I don't even know who I am anymore.

"Calum-"

"Nothing you say or do is going to change what the hell you did last night" Calum says.

"Ashton did some horrible things last night as well. Did you hear what he said to me Calum?" I say defending myself.

"I did. And I'm angry at him as well. But you started this mess Luke. You may have started the relationship but now you're the reason it might end." Calum says not looking at me. I stand up in disbelief.

"Are you fucking kidding me? Just the other day you said you were on my side!" I yell.

"Keep your voice down Luke! I was on your side. But now I'm not. And I'm not on Ashton's side either. I'm on Daniella's side because believe it or not while you two are too busy fighting, Daniella feels alone and feels as if all of this is her fault." Calum says back.

"But it's not her fault-"

"But she thinks it is Luke! Don't you get it! If you and Ashton keep fighting she'll be gone. And none of us will see her again. You think that if her and Ashton breakup she'll stick around? She'll want to be with you? No, she'll go home where things are simpler and easier and quieter. Away from you two assholes. You know what at the moment I don't think either of you deserve her." Calum begins to yell. He was right. Neither of us deserved her. I didn't deserve anyone. But even though he was right I still felt as if I had to push back. I'm sick and tired of being the pushover.