The Empty Space Next to Me

Chapter 1

The place reeks of gloom and forebodes the worst in every aspect of it. Steve has just appeared on the dark dunes that have been haunting his dreams for the past weeks. The eclipsed sun peeks through the stifling clouds.

He warily looks up at the mountain towering over Vormir. The amber light of the last stone in his pocket glows through the fabric.

After a long and dreadful ascension, Steve comes face to face with the floating red creature that Clint had described to him many times. Except he is a familiar face from his past.

"Steven, son of Joseph," Red Skull says.

His somber specter floats down from the sky. Steve clenches his fist.

"Schmidt," he grits his teeth.

"That was in another lifetime. I am no longer that person — I have changed. And so have you."

Steve probes him coldly.

"But I never thought our paths would meet again," Red Skull continues. His eyes glance down at his pocket. "You have come to return the Stone."

Steve stands up square, both fists clenched.

"That is one reason. I'm here to get her back."

Red Skull knows who he is talking about. He guides him up the trail to the sacrificial altar. It looks just the way Clint described it, but his description doesn't come near as frightful as it is to his eye.

Staring down at the worn stone, it seems he can see the print of her boots as she ran over to the edge. His eyes begin to fill with water. He looks away and shakes his head.

He takes a deep breath in and turns to Red Skull again. "Where is Natasha?"

"The sacrifice required by the stone cannot be revoked."

"Bullshit."

"Her soul now belongs to the stone. It has been cleansed and made anew before departing."

Steve shakes his head as he comes to the realization that his worst nightmare is becoming true. "It can't. It can't. I am bringing the Stone back to have an exchange."

"The sacrifice made is permanent."

"We'll see about it," Steve mutters decisively.

He lifts Mjolnir, summons thunder and hits the specter with it. The thunderbolt jolts through him like through air and dies out.

"Your effort is vain. I cannot be fought just as I will not fight you. I am simply serving the Stone."

But Steve can't hear it. He stepped on the time machine with the strong determination to bring Natasha back with him. It was the only thought his mind could grasp onto not to fall into despair. The certainty that she could be brought back is what made the past few weeks more bearable.

He summons thunder again and hits the specter, again and again, but always unsuccessfully. Physical exhaustion, coupled with mental weariness, eventually get the best of him. And as he realizes that he has failed in his mission, he collapses to his knees. The heavy silence falls over his shoulders and he stares down at the floor. He sees Clint's broken arrow on the ground, only token of their visit and her sacrifice.

He clutches it in his fist and tears roll down his cheek.

Natasha is gone.

__________________________________________

The sadness he feels and the bitter memory of his failure near self-loathing. Since he has returned to the present, he hasn't found sleep. The memories of Natasha haunt his nights. His brain goes over the same thoughts over and over again, the most obsessive one being he hasn't done enough to try and bring her back and that he should go back to fight Red Skull.