Freshman Year (Sanders Sides AU)

Chapter 23

TW: Panic Attack

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Roman's POV

As per usual, I was sitting at my desk with my script in one hand and a cup of chocolate milk in the other. Patton really got me hooked on chocolate milk and it was all I drank at that time. It was quiet in the house, everyone else at class. Monday's sucked because I was alone for most of the day and I hadn't really made any other friends except a kid named Joan in my drama class. We've only gotten to know each other recently though. They're pretty cool. 

My silence was interrupted by the sound of the front door frantically closing and heavy breathing following behind. Confused, I got up and tossed my script on my desk, making my way to my door. When I opened it I found Virgil, leaning his forearm against the entrance, his forehead pressed to his arm. He was wearing my jacket, making his pale face stand out even more. He seemed out of breath and I immediately got worried.

"Virge?" I quietly asked, causing him to jump and spin around, then calming down when he saw me. "Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you."

He blinked and then quickly made his way over, throwing his arms around my waist and holding on tight, catching me off guard. My arms hung awkwardly in the air for a minute and then they found comfort around his shoulders.

"Hey, what's wrong?" I asked cautiously.

He mumbled something into my shirt.

"What?" I asked, not really able to understand him. He was still shaking and acted like he was holding on for dear life.

He sighed and turned his head to the side. "I saw him."

"Who?" I asked, knitting my eyebrows, then my eyes widened. "Remy?"

I could feel Virgil quiver and he nodded.

I mumbled and then pulled him into my room, sitting him down on the bed.

"Tell me what happened," I said as I sat down beside him. 

Virgil had been in such a good mood the last few days, seeing him verging on a panic attack was distressing to say the least. He took in a shaky breath and closed his eyes, regaining his composure but not opening his eyes. 

"I-I w-was coming home," he started, eyes still closed. "I...I h-head a v-v-voice behind m-me calling my name and I...looked b-back and i-it was R-remy and Ja....."

He faded off and squeezed his eyes shut, curling his knees up to his chest. He took in a deep breath and tried to continue but instead he rocked slowly backward, clutching the cuffs of his hoodie and hiding his head between his knees, holding the back of his head. 

"Hey, Virgil, it's okay," I soothed. "Just take deep breaths. I'm here. It's okay now."

Being someone who's never witnessed a panic attack before, I wasn't sure how to comfort him, or if I even should. I didn't know what was going on inside his head but I'm pretty sure it wasn't good. Actually, I'm pretty positive that it was awful.

So, I placed a hand on his back, feeling him tense I thought it was the wrong move to make. Then he relaxed and uncurled himself slightly, leaning his head into my chest. He didn't continue his story and I didn't press him too. He just focused on his breathing and I focused on not distracting him, but just being there for support. He seemed to shrink when he was anxious, but he slowly grew back to his normal size again as he calmed down.

I heard his breathing slow down back to it's normal speed and he blew out a gust of air, sitting up straight and shaking his head quickly.

"Sorry," he apologized.

I refrained from rolling my eyes at his unnecessary apology and chose to kiss his temple instead. "Don't be sorry, Virge. You couldn't help it."

"Thank you," he tried instead, though it was quietly, and turned to face me. "For being here for me." 

I gave him a small, kind smile and shook my head. "That's what I'm here for."

A Time Skip brought to you by Crofter's Jam

A while later Virgil fell asleep on my bed so I just let him be and went back to studying. But instead of facing my desk I chose to face the bed instead, occasionally glancing at the sleeping boy. I smirked to myself and then turned so that I was facing the small IKEA bookshelf instead, running lines over and over in my head. 

After about thirty minutes I saw him stir out of the corner of my eye, then sit up. He yawned and stretched and it was adorable. Then he realized he wasn't in his room and looked around in confusion before remembering and leaning against the wall, stretching one leg out and keeping the other bent.

"Morning, Sleeping Beauty," I teased and received an unamused grunt in return. "Sleep well?"

"Power nap for the win," he tiredly smirked and leaned his head against the wall, hitting with a soft thud, and closed his eyes once more. 

I shook my head proudly at him and then switched from my script to sheet music. We sat in silence for a little while, just enjoying one another's presence. Then Virgil laughed quietly, catching my attention.

"What?" 

"The tapping on your wall," he nodded toward the wall that neighbored Remus's. "Who's over there."

I had gotten so used to the tapping that I forgot that it was even there. "It's Remus. He's been doing it since we were kids. Why?"

"He's typing Morse Code," Virgil explained with a smirk. "He keeps saying 'Roman only wishes his schlong was as long as mine' over and over again."

I coughed a laugh and felt my face turn red before laughing more freely at the message. "Are you serious?"

"Completely."

Remus has been saying that for ten years of our life!? I wasn't sure whether to feel victorious that I knew there was something behind the tapping or embarrassed about the message." 

Virgil kept giggling to himself everytime Remus would repeat the phrase. His face was red and his eyes were scrunched, it was adorable I had to admit, but I still couldn't help but feel ashamed.

"Stop laughing!"

"It's funny."

"You're such a middle school brat."

"But I'm a cute brat?" he teased.

"I thought that was implied, Hot Topic." Two could play that game. "Ha! Made you blush." 

"Oh shut up, Princey."