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Chapter 3

(smol update)

Moonbyul

Fuck.

Fuck me.

Fuck this life.

I'm such an idiot for falling in love with my best friend.

This shit hurts. I already know the outcome in this confession but still, hearing her saying sorry because she can't love me back actually doubled the pain, and it's slowly killing me.

The moment I closed the door, the moment my tears cascade down my cheeks. It's like they're competing in a race.

You can do this byul. You are the strongest woman I have ever known. We can't get through this. This is nothing. This pain is completely nothing.

You are brave.

You are, right?

I managed to take myself home even if my mind is floating in the air. People are looking at me earlier as if I'm some kind of an insane person. I'm just glad they didn't recognized who am I or I'll be really making a huge issue after I wake up in the morning. 

I entered my room and emptiness welcome me.

Empty, this is my life without yongsun.

I plop myself at my bed, letting the soft silk embrace me as I let my tears let go again. I am in pain, I am brokenhearted, so please let me cry like this to lessen what I feel. 

"Now what?" I asked myself. Now that I confessed what I truly feel towards her, and she rejected my feelings, what am I going to do now?

Act like everything is okay? No, as much as I wanted to, I'm a human too. I can't just act happy and friendly towards her knowing she knows I love her and she doesn't. This thing will be awkward for the both of us and I don't know if I can't stand seeing her without hurting myself.

It's my fault anyway, it's my fault for falling in love so easily. She's my best friend, and friends are not supposed to fall for each other. I mean, it's okay but for God's sake she's a girl moonbyul, and fucking hell you know we live in Korea.

I laughed at myself. I totally fucked up and I need to do something about this.

I glance at my study table and notice something.

 
That's right. I'll get rid of this pain in doing what I'm good at. I stand up and wiped the tears in my face, sniffing as I walk towards the table slowly grabbing my favorite pen and paper.

I took a glance at my wall clock.

2:30 am, a perfect time to write a song.

I sat comfortably at the chair and let my hand write everything my heart wanted to say.

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