Chapter 45

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“Carmine?”

Everything around me was black. What was I standing on? 

Not sure.

Where was I? 

Not sure.

I heard that voice again.

“Carmine?”

Canus, to have heard your voice was so daunting, for it haunted me to the depths of grief.

Shapes formed out of the darkness. Embellished walls of peach and brown painted in studded swirls presented themselves around me. My feet clasped the cold limestone floors white as snow. Thick linen soaked deep in blue dye expensive to the broth mixed colder than that night.

It could not be.

Yes, that night. How did I know?

A feeling.

My eyes fluttered upward as the door opened. Darkness was the only visitor.

I stared behind me at the bed and its cyan sheets slanted over the white ones. This was my bedroom in Ascus. An old friend that I missed. 

There was something I was supposed to remember about this.

“Carmine?”

I flipped my head back to the entrance.

Where was that voice coming from?

“Why do you not love me?”

Sorry?

“Why do you not love me?”

I found my voice. “I always loved you.”

His voice was hoarse. “Lies…”

“What do you expect me to say?”

“Liar…”

“Huh?” I project my voice. “What do you expect me to say?”

“Liar…”

Throbs of pain hit the back of my head, so I groaned in discontent.

I snorted, and almost laughed. “I love everyone, alright? That too much for you? Everybody desires loyalty, but they never, never ask me what I want. No, no one asks me what I want. It's always what they expect of me, what they think of me, what I am supposed to do! That makes me a liar?!”

“Liar…”

“You know what cometh to mind, to the dead lake with you!

“Carmine…” 

A shadow moved out of the darkness and toward me. My heart skipped a beat.

I pulled the sheets off the bed and used them as a shield as if they could protect me.

“Carmine…”

I froze, for this was a female's voice.

"Carmine…"

Fingers grasped the side of the door and those painted nails mesmerized me.

"Come to mother."

Mother?!

I shook my head and stepped back. My back slammed into the bed's board.

"Carmine…" that woman called.

Stop calling my name.

A chorus of voices trumpeted in my head. “Carmiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine!”

I flung myself up and twirled, yet fell shoulder-first into the ground. A yelp escaped my dry lips. 

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