Hakuouki: Demons Within

薄桜鬼 17

I awoke to the sound of the birds, and the sunlight that pushed through the wall screen, shining down on my face. I realized that Souji's arms were still wrapped firmly around me, and in his grip, I turned backwards enough to see his face. He looked so peaceful and free of any pain. His skin was beginning to pale, as were his lips, which saddened me. I knew that tuberculosis was not something commonly overcome. I prayed for a miracle, that I could stay by his side until the end, which I wanted to be far, far, away. I gazed upon him with soft eyes, snapping out of my fantasy when he awoke. The sun made him squint, and he pulled the arm that wrapped over the top of me to his forehead to shield himself from the light. I giggled a little, as his eyes met mine.
"Good morning." I smiled. He laughed once, under his breath, as he pressed his lips to my temple briefly.
"G'morning. How long have you been staring at me?" He teased.
"Oh not long. W-wait! I wasn't even staring at you!" I mumbled in a loud whisper.
"Haha mkay." He released me and sat up, rising to his feet and stretching shortly after. He offered his hand out to me, which I accepted, and stood as well.
"It's been awhile since morning's have been quiet" I commented. He stared off at nothing, with a blank gaze, which he quickly snapped out of.
"Yeah... Something's got to be up." He replied. My face twisted a bit.
"Well, uh... Maybe everyone's busy somewhere else!" I suggested.
"Could be that too." He agreed as he bent down to change into his clothes. I watched him, puzzled and flustered, until he bent his head back and asked me if I wanted to find out what everyone else was doing, or just stand there. My blush only deepened as I changed as fast as I could into the hakama given to me. Then, I followed him down the hall into the courtyard, where the noise of the Shinsengumi had greeted us. Nagakura greeted us with a wave, then continued to haul corpses out of the garden. Behind Souji, I doubled over and clutched my mouth with both hands. I was not prepared to face another day full of blood and the stench of death. Souji had caught sight of me out of the corner of his eye, only turning back slightly.
"Okita-san! Are you going to help us or what? How about you, Kaori-chan??" Heisuke shouted from across the yard, hauling off bodies with Harada. Saito and Hijikata looked up at us as well. Each of them were paired up, hauling bodies off with a linen carrier. Souji turned back around and replied for us both.
"Sorry but, Kaori-chan isn't feeling well today, so I'm going to look after her." He answered, earning a hot-headed and envious response from Heisuke. Souji dismissed me as he continued to argue with his subordinate. I waited on the edge of the engawa, opposite the side of the house to the courtyard. My feet dangled off of it, and I stared expressionlessly out towards the distant bridge, deep in thought. The lives I had taken yesterday... They probably had family, friends, and lived ones waiting for them back at home. They were simply fulfilling a mission just as I and the others would. To take away their futures without so much as a second thought, to kill them on instinct... It scared me. It was certain that if given the chance, an enemy would take my life as I had taken their comrades. Undoubtedly, the same fate would befall Souji or the others if the opportunity had arise. The thought of such an insignificant death was horrifying. Suddenly feeling vibrations in the floor boards, my train of thought was interrupted by Souji's arrival. He sat beside me with a sigh, and glanced at me with confusion.
"Is everything alright? He inquired. I nodded with hesitance, my eyes still glazed over with remorse.
"Don't lie to me... It was last night, wasn't it?" My already glassy eyes teared up as he finished his sentence. He observed me with a pained expression, leaning back on his arms. He shifted his posture a bit more to face me, his calve hitting the edge of the engawa as he bent his knee, and his right arm resting on his right thigh. A single tear rolled down my cheek, and I hastily wiped it away with my sleeve.
"It's okay to cry. But only with me." He spoke, lifting his legs from the edge and moving behind me, then pulling me into his lap. He wrapped his arms around me, holding me tightly as he buried his face in my neck. Tears continued to steadily cascaded silently down my face, pouring even more so with Souji's words.
"I too know what you're thinking. I've felt your pain, and I've overcome it. You, don't need to overcome the pain, because that is what makes you gentle." He murmured against my ear.
"B-but you are gentle too..." I stammered, inhaling sharply in-between a couple of words.
"No... I'm not." He smirked against my skin and picked me up, dragging me into the room behind us. Against the floor he pinned me, my wrist trapped helplessly beneath his strong arms. His lips met with my neck and collarbone repeatedly, trailing from my lips to my chest and down further. He forcefully pulled away my clothes, leaving me bare and cold, yet he warmed me with his hungry, rough touch. The sounds of crying I made before turned to sounds of ecstasy, as he made me feel like a true woman. He stripped himself of his clothes and silenced my pain with his lips as he embraced me with intense passion. My body heat mixed with his as we became one. With every embrace, my guilt was drowned in pleasure and newfound happiness. We had started around noon and worked well into evening hours, before eventually I was exhausted and begged for rest, yet secretly I had wanted more. Souji, also tired but surprisingly, still excited, had agreed to stop for the day. We bathed again, this time together, and once more embraced each other until we could not any more. The day, and the night we continued to share, was filled with endless embraces that suffocated our pains. Time and time again, we became one until our bodies collapsed onto one another.