It's Just Acting

twenty-four.

AVAN

I wasn't acting.

When was Liz going to realize that?

Was she afraid that I would hurt her? Or was she just oblivious.

She couldn't be oblivious. She was smarter than that.

I wasn't going to hurt her.

I just wanted a chance. Just one chance with her. That was all I wanted.

To prove to her how much I wanted her, and only her.

Nobody else. Not Victoria. No other girl.

My eyes, were only ever on her.

I loved her.

And I had loved her for the longest time. For practically three years now.

But I used to be good at keeping my feelings for her to myself. But now, all I wanted was to let them out. Hell, I would scream to the world how much I loved her if I had to.

I was committed to her.

I just wished she was committed to me as well.

She couldn't possibly think we were just friends, right? I mean, it was obvious we were more. At least, I thought so.

I just wanted one simple chance.

I wasn't asking for much.

Liz meant absolutely everything to me. More than a friend. I had been just friends with her for years. I couldn't settle for just friends. I wanted more.

I needed more.

When was she going to understand that?

There was no way I was going to be okay with being friends. I already kissed her. I shouted my feelings to her. Yet she still thought I was acting.

I only act when we're filming an episode. Not in real life.

Honestly, I didn't even care anymore.

I stormed over to Liz, where she was standing alone in the break room, and I kissed her once again.

And of course, she didn't pull away.

God was she confusing.

If she wanted to be friends with benefits, then that was what we were going to be.

At least it was a little more than just friends.

My hands fell to her waist as hers tangled in my hair, my lips moving in sync with hers.

I trailed my lips down her neck, and a little whimper escaped her lips, making me press her to the wall and kiss her neck harder.

I was simply giving her what she had wanted in the first place.

I pressed kisses along her neck and collarbone, and an occasional moan would fall from her lips, making me want her even more.

It was like we both had no idea what we were doing, but enjoyed it nonetheless.

Was that how friends with benefits were supposed to be?

Her hands ran through my hair as I continued kissing her soft exposed skin, and something just felt missing.

I didn't want to just have lust and wanting.

I wanted love. That was what Liz and I needed.

If only she loved me, as much as I loved her.

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every time i listen to falling by harry styles i start crying.

make sure to comment your thoughts!

-izzy