Surrender

Friday, October 26, 2013

3:40pm

"What time do you think you'll get back?" I ask. Harry has his arms around me and we're leaning up against my car. We haven't been able to spend much time together since what happened in his car at lunch on Monday. Thankfully, the guy who tried to start shit with Harry hasn't said anything else. It's been a rather peaceful week considering the dramatic start of it.

"We won't be back until pretty late. Their company Halloween parties usually last a few hours. But you'll see me tomorrow. I can pick you up for lunch if you want and we'll just stay together all day until the gallery showing. I shake my head.

"Can't. It's Paul's birthday and we're taking him out to lunch because he has to work tomorrow night. Just come pick me up at six."

"Yes ma'am," he says. He kisses me, then opens my door so I can climb inside. I wave goodbye to him as he walks away, then I pull my phone out of my backpack. There's a text from Taylor, which makes me happy. I haven't been receiving my daily promised texts like she said I would. I didn't think I'd miss them, but now that I only get one every third day or so, it bums me out a little.

Tell your boyfriend thank you for finally adding minutes to your phone. Have you had sex with him yet? Miss you.

I laugh at her candidness and text her back.

No, we haven't had sex yet. We've done almost everything else, though, so I'm sure his patience will wear out soon. Ask me again after tomorrow night, I might have a different answer. Miss you more.

I hit send and stare at the phone. I haven't really thought about whether or not I'm ready to pass that first yet, but I guess I just admitted to myself that I am. I wonder if inviting me to his house is his way of finding out if I'm ready, too.

I put the car into reverse and my phone sounds off. I pick it up and it's a text from Harry.

Don't leave. I'm walking back to your car.

I put the car in park again and roll down my window, just as he approaches. "Hey," he says, leaning into my window. He darts his eyes away from mine and he looks around the car nervously. I hate this uncomfortable look about him, it always means he's about to say something I might not want to hear.

"Um..." He looks back at me and the sun is shining straight on him, highlighting every beautiful feature about him. His eyes are bright and they're looking into mine like they would never want to look anywhere else. "You uh...you just sent me a text that I'm pretty sure you meant to send to Taylor."

Oh God, no. I immediately grab my phone and check to see if he's telling the truth. Unfortunately, he is. I throw the phone on the passenger seat and fold my arms across the steering wheel, burying my face into my elbow. "Oh my, God," I groan.

"Look at me, Blair," he directs. I ignore him and wait for a magic wormhole to come and suck me away from all the embarrassing situations I get myself into. I feel his hand touch my cheek and he pulls my face in his direction. He's looking at me, full of sincerity.

"Whether it's tomorrow night or next year, I can promise you it'll be the best damn night of my life. You just make sure you're making that decision for yourself and no one else, okay? I'll always want you, but I'm not going to let myself have you until you're one hundred percent sure you want me just as much. And don't say anything right now. I'm turning around and walking back to my car and we can pretend this conversation never happened. Otherwise, you may never stop blushing." He leans in the window and gives me a quick kiss. "You're cute as hell, you know that? But you really need to figure out how to work your phone." He winks at me and walks away. I lean my head against the headrest and silently curse myself.