UNSAID / HOOD

04

VIOLET LOCKHART

-

"Before I met you I never knew what it was like to smile for no reason, and then, I met you. And you can ask me why I love you, but I love you because of no reason at all because if I have a reason to love you, I'm scared that it will give me a reason to leave you."

"I love you."

-

That's how he told me he loved me. Six months as we were living together, we were best friends, but one day, when I got out of work, and there he was, standing in the middle of our tiny apartment, holding one single rose, a perfect rose, every single petal was perfect.

In my entire life, that's the second thing that has made me cry as hard as possible. I was nineteen, and I've never had a boyfriend before, and no one had ever told me how much they loved me like this, and to me? It was everything I've ever wanted, I wanted to be loved by someone who understood me, not even a bestfriend, a soulmate? But here's the thing about soulmates, you only get one chance, you can't screw it up, you only have one soulmate for everyone, it didn't have to be romantically, it could be someone just knows you like the back of their hand and understands you like they understood themselves.

That was Calum.

"I love you." As soon as those words left my lips, he ran to me, I wrapped my arms around his neck, my tears were getting on to his t-shirt, but he didn't mind, he just held me there in the doorway, and as we were there, he told me I meant something, I meant something to him.

"I can't imagine a world with out you, I can't even imagine what the world was like before I met you, I've never met someone like you, you- you're fascinating, and I learn more about you everyday and I'm so grateful to have someone like you in my life." He said, his voice was soft and raspy, I couldn't reply him, I buried my face on his shoulder and I was shaking.

"I love you, I love you, I love you."

Calum is someone that doesn't usually show how much he likes you, unless he was sure, it took both of us six months to realize it was mutual, we were living together everyday, we fight, we argue and we also know where the limit is for each other, we knew when and where to stop, we were both in the same situation where we didn't know if it was possible to afford another day, another night in this city, but somehow, we managed.

The only thing I don't regret in my entire life was telling him I love him, because there is no way I could ever find someone like Calum. I never knew someone could just love everything about another person, flaws and all.

And he was gone now, he will never come back and there is no way I could ever bring him back to me, but if I ever get the chance to see him again, I'll tell him this.

"Thank you for loving me."

Thank you, Calum. For making me feel how it is to be loved, I know how hard it is for him to put up with me, I was a kid, i'm a nineteen year old, I couldn't even drink legally, and he was twenty one when we first met, ge told me about how cigarettes and alcohol made him feel alive because it slowly kills him.

Sometimes when we're sleeping, and he talks in his sleep, he never said a full sentence, and all he mumbled were fragment sentences that doesn't make sense when he put them together.

The memories we had been through was, is and will be something that I could never escape, and i would give you the world for what happened to be a dream.

Only if that's how it works.